Forbidden Dreams
by Animatized
Summary: (YAOI) Zhao Yun x Jiang Wei. After the battle of Tian Shui, Zhao Yun finds himself falling for the new officer. But who will Jiang Wei choose? His old life with Sima Yi or a new one with Zhao Yun? Written by Natsue Arishima. Chap. 12 FINALLY! Please R&R!
1. Alone

**Disclaimer:** (For the whole story) I do not own Dynasty Warriors or Romance of the Three Kingdoms in any way. If I did I wouldn't be writing this and would probably be off somewhere with an imaginary Zhao Yun... *cough* Warning: I like torturing my favorite characters... so... yeah, that says basically all of it... so, moving on...  
  
Also, thanks to Kimiko Hiraki, the faithful Beta-Reader.  
  
**Note:** The user Animatized is a writing duo between me, Natsue Arishima, and Kimiko Hiraki. However, Kimi won't be participating much in this... *sniff* I know, it's sad... *cough* Anyhoo, moving on...  
  
**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter One: Alone**   
  
Zhao Yun stood alone outside the gates of Cheng Du. It was so quiet here compared to the noises inside, and he had to admit that he liked the change.   
  
The candlelight from the city washed over him, a flickering, dancing ray of light. Laughter could be heard from inside the gates as the people of Shu celebrated the success of Tian Shui.   
  
He turned his back towards the city and started walking quietly away.   
  
Alone. That was how he was these past few days. The emptiness was easy to accept, swallowing him up in faint depression.   
  
Wandering farther away from the Shu capital, the Tiger General turned towards the sunset. The colors were exquisite, from swirling scarlet patterns to the darkest shades of purple. They blended in so well with each other, creating such a soft feeling of peace.   
  
Missing the usual comfort of his deadly Fierce Dragon, he closed his eyes as a soft breeze swept over him, velvety and caressing. His bangs lifted from his face, flowing gently with the air. The jet black hair, usually so tight in his low ponytail, became undone and swirled softly around his shoulders.   
  
He wasn't wearing his usual armor, and he felt light, though slightly insecure. His simple, white, sleeveless shirt flapped in the increasing wind, and it was extremely comfortable compared to his battle garb.   
  
Opening his eyes, he once again looked towards the setting sun. How wonderful it would feel to be free, to never worry or fear.   
  
Zhao Yun looked down at his grass green pants. He knew he ought to feel happy, especially after today, but he didn't know if he had ever felt so downhearted as he felt now.   
  
He hadn't really done anything at Tian Shui. His orders had been to wait quietly by Zhuge Liang's side and to protect him while confronting Jiang Wei. Indeed, the young genius had lunged at the Little Dragon several times before finally calming down enough to listen to what Zhuge Liang had to say.   
  
No. The thing that had made him so downcast was a totally different matter.   
  
And yet it shamed him to think that he wanted it so badly.   
  
But the truth was that he wanted to love.   
  
He wanted to have the permission to think of someone so much that he would happily die for that special someone.   
  
He wanted to be able to feel the breath of his lover on his face everyday.   
  
He wanted to hold and be held.   
  
And most of all, he never wanted to be alone again.   
  
For many years, he had lived and had been afraid that he would grow up alone. He had been with several beautiful women in the past, and yet had to admit that there had never been a spark.   
  
Was there no one in the world for him?   
  
The sun completely disappeared behind the distant hills. Sighing, he headed back towards the bright city.   
  
The light was strangely blinding compared to his dark walk, and he squinted as he headed inside.   
  
The hall was blaring with talk. Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei were discussing the previous battle with murmurs and satisfied nods. Zhang Fei kept on getting refills of wine.   
  
Ma Chao was nowhere in sight. Huang Zhong was laughing silently at something Wei Yan had just said, and Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying and Pang Tong were talking cheerfully. Many of the surviving soldiers and sub-officers were laughing, some muttering amongst themselves.   
  
Zhao Yun headed over to Zhuge Liang, accepting some food on the way. He suddenly noticed that Jiang Wei was gone too.   
  
Strange. It surprised him that Zhuge Liang wasn't busy talking to his newest pupil.   
  
Looking around the hall, he spotted the young genius sitting alone at the far end of a table, deeply absorbed in his writing. His back was facing him, but his long, dark hair glinted faintly in the light. The Shu officer could have recognized him anywhere.   
  
The Little Dragon stared at him for a long time, debating with himself, and then started over towards him.   
  
Jiang Wei jumped slightly as Zhao Yun tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around, a steady blush rising in his cheeks, and stared blankly at Zhao Yun for a few seconds before realizing who he was.   
  
"Zhao Yun?"   
  
The Tiger General nodded back, smiling. Jiang Wei hadn't seen him with his hair down before.   
  
"Forgive me. I could not tell..." Jiang Wei looked abashed.   
  
"There's no need to apologize." He stared at the other's young face, which once again looked faintly happy.   
  
"What're you writing?" Zhao Yun asked after a moment of silence.   
  
"Oh... Just a poem that I started back in Tian Shui."   
  
He looked towards the parchment. "Perhaps I could read it?"   
  
Jiang Wei smiled sheepishly. "I-it's not finished."   
  
Zhao Yun raised an amused eyebrow. "Maybe later then."   
  
Jiang Wei nodded, his eyes darting back towards the parchment.   
  
He felt eyes on his back and tried not to squirm. Only after Zhao Yun stood up and left did he dare look up towards the handsome general. Though he had just met him, the young strategist could tell that something was bothering him.   
  
Zhao Yun nodded to Liu Bei respectfully. The leader of Shu looked at him, smiling, before beckoning him towards him.   
  
The general obliged, walking in front of Liu Bei. "Yes, my Lord?" he asked, his eyes widening to show his attention.   
  
"Zhuge Liang told me about your appearance today. I want to thank you for your work." The Lord looked back up towards Zhao Yun and handing him a cup of wine.   
  
He took it, and after raising it to his Lord and the two stronger Tiger Generals, drank deeply.   
  
Guan Yu looked on, stroking his beard. "You have improved greatly." Zhang Fei nodded, swaying slightly and now a rich shade of red.   
  
Zhao Yun waved his hand carelessly. "I was only following orders."   
  
Liu Bei nodded once more before turning back to his conversation. Zhang Fei switched his attention to his cup, listening to Liu Bei, but Guan Yu examined Zhao Yun for a few seconds before also twisting to the table, his smile hidden under his long beard.   
  
Turning around, Zhao Yun suddenly saw a young girl sitting near Jiang Wei. She had short, brown hair and dark eyes, and seemed overly sweet. The young strategist was blushing faintly and dropped his quill as the girl reached across the table to hold his hand.   
  
Zhao Yun felt a boiling emotion erupt in his chest. Confused, he shook his head, leaving the brightly-lit hall.   
  
Heading towards his room, Zhao Yun sighed quietly in relief. He opened the door to his unlit room, watching the moonlight pour in through his window. Walking forward, he stood quietly in the moon's glow.   
  
Why was he suddenly full of jealousy? He didn't _like_ Jiang Wei... of course not.   
  
He wasn't gay, dammit.   
  
He laid down on his bed, his dark hair making a criss-cross pattern on his pillow. Staring up towards the ceiling, he knew that he was lying to himself. He had been interested in Jiang Wei ever since he had met him.   
  
But it couldn't be serious, could it? he thought emotionlessly.   
  
His mind replayed the boiling anger inside his chest. Slowly, he came to the discouraging truth.   
  
He did care for Jiang Wei.   
  
But what saddened him the most was that Jiang Wei could never be his, no matter how hard he tried.   
**********   
  
A/N: This being my first yaoi/shonen ai/slash story (alone anyway), I'm not really the best at these things. Constructive criticism is welcome! Please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	2. Emotions Unfold

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Two: Emotions Unfold**   
  
Jiang Wei slowly opened his dark brown eyes. Blinking several times, he slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position.   
  
The sun was just rising. Delicate colors of orange and red poured gently through the gaps in the cloth shades and onto the slightly messy bed. Jiang Wei yawned, closing his eyes as the soothing colors washed over his face, the first breath of the day.   
  
Slipping his legs over the edge of the bed, he stood up, opening his window. The sun was there, ready to greet him. The grounds were sparkling as the light slowly expanded its reign and was reflected off the many dewdrops.   
  
One by one, the birds awoke, and soon a faint singing chorus could be heard as they stretched out their wings and chirped.   
  
The young strategist smiled, breathing deeply. This was the time of day that he liked the most.   
  
Shutting his eyes hard, he could almost imagine that he was back in Tian Shui. Strangely enough, his memory seemed slightly chopped. He couldn't even remember where his favorite spot had used to be.   
  
No matter. Jiang Wei shook his head, opening his big eyes and blinking at the Shu territory before him. The memories of Wei still made him grieve quietly... There was Cao Cao, smiling in his mind's eye... The beautiful Zhen Ji, dancing gracefully... Xiahou Dun was sparring with Dian Wei, whom was laughing slightly... Zhang He was at Cao Cao's side, still wearing his shoulder armor...   
  
Among all of these memories, Jiang Wei felt his heart clench. And then his mind's eye fell onto dark purple fabric, twisting and forming an elegant robe. A dark, outlined eye pierced the day... A faint chuckle as a hand waved a dark feathered fan lightly...   
  
And Jiang Wei knew that most of all, he missed...   
  
Him.   
  
It seemed strange that a master and apprentice could get so close, along with all of their differences, but Jiang Wei had slowly grown feelings for the brilliant Sima Yi. And now... with the knowledge that he would have to fight his lover one day, Jiang Wei couldn't feel any more depressed.   
  
Shu was a wonderful kingdom, yes, but it still wasn't the kingdom of Wei.   
  
Sima Yi wasn't in it.   
  
Besides that fact, there was one more thing that he hated.   
  
That girl.   
  
That annoying, brown haired girl.   
  
What was her name again? Oh yes... wasn't it something like... Mei Hua?   
  
Her personality could really make a person sick.   
  
And recently, she seemed to have developed the fact that she and Jiang Wei had something, and so spent so much of her day chasing after him.   
  
He sighed, reaching for his battle outfit. Though he knew that he should probably be with Zhuge Liang, he desperately wanted some time for practice. It often cleared his mind.   
  
Grabbing his spear, Blink, he walked out his room, pulling up his hair in the process.   
  
Heading towards the practice grounds, he was surprised to already hear weapon clashes.   
  
It seemed as if he wasn't the only early riser in this kingdom.   
  
He debated with himself in the hall whether or not he should still practice. His curiosity got the better of him and he continued his course towards the practice field.   
  
The clashing sounds grew louder, and he thought he heard a familiar voice usher a quiet curse. Turning the corner of Cheng Du, his eyes adjusted to the two officers on the otherwise quiet ground, sparring.   
  
They were two of the top three Tiger Generals - Guan Yu and Zhao Yun.   
  
Jiang Wei watched the duel in fascination. He had rarely seen fights like this one, where the two people were equally balanced in different talents. Guan Yu was definitely stronger but his speed was nothing compared to Zhao Yun's.   
  
Neither of them were wearing their battle garb, and instead were wearing regular clothing with not a single piece of armor.   
  
Leaning against a nearby tree and resting Blink on his shoulder, Jiang Wei examined the moves of both warriors.   
  
Guan Yu lunged forward, sending his Blue Moon Dragon upward. Dodging the tossing attack, Zhao Yun slipped easily behind the older officer and attempted a dangerous swipe with his Fierce Dragon.   
  
The bearded man quickly brought his weapon back in perfect timing, his automatic defense taking over him. The two officers ended in a deadlock.   
  
Judging by Guan Yu's face, Jiang Wei assumed that the bearded man was holding back, yes, but only slightly, for when Zhao Yun won the cessation, the older man's eyes widened in surprise.   
  
Guan Yu was thrown back into a vulnerable position, but instead of attacking, Zhao Yun waited until the strongest of the Tiger General's was back on his feet.   
  
"What's this?" the man asked, his deep voice slightly perplexed.   
  
Readjusting his green band, the other replied, "One more."   
  
Smiling faintly, the Little Dragon parried as a confused but satisfied Guan Yu sent slashes at him, eyes darting from side to side to find a weak spot.   
  
Zhao Yun suddenly swung his spear, at the same time Guan Yu sent his Blue Moon Dragon forward for a fatal blow, and they both froze inches away from their target.   
  
Fierce Dragon stayed motionless, it's blade glinting a few centimeters away from Guan Yu's left leg. Guan Yu's weapon rested quietly in the crook of Zhao Yun's neck. A small trickle of blood slid down from the younger man's jaw line, but besides that, no harm was done.   
  
They remained unmoved for a few minutes before Guan Yu lowered his weapon. "You have improved greatly. I rarely need to use my full strength on opponents."   
  
Zhao Yun swung his spear over his shoulder and rubbed his neck. "You still remain unbeatable, General Guan Yu."   
  
The older man's eyes crinkled into a smile. "I must get inside. I have already promised Liu Bei to go to Zhuge Liang's meeting."   
  
Zhao Yun nodded, his hand slowing lowering from his cut. "I will not be there."   
  
After Guan Yu departed, Zhao Yun stretched, yawning and staring up at the sky, where the sun now was.   
  
Jiang Wei found himself entranced by the other male, his eyes never leaving his body. The wind started whipping up, pressing Zhao Yun's shirt into his muscular frame. Jiang Wei couldn't help but stare. The only one that had made him feel this way before was Sima Yi, and Jiang Wei was surprised by the fact that the brilliant strategist's face was slowly turning into the Little Dragon.   
  
He had heard of the great Tiger Generals of Shu. Their courage and strength sent him into awe, and yet he had always wanted to meet them, even if it meant to give up his life. And most of all, he had heard of the legendary Little Dragon, of whom was one Shu's greatest supporters. His bravery was, in no doubt, unbeatable, and many of his surviving opponents spent days after battle still shivering in fear.   
  
Feeling eyes pressed into his back, Zhao Yun turned, still shouldering his Fierce Dragon. His expression became a mix of delight and surprise. "Jiang Wei! I didn't expect you to be here. Shouldn't you be going through a battle plan with Master Zhuge Liang?"   
  
Jiang Wei smiled sheepishly, stepping away from the tree. "I wasn't in the correct mood."   
  
The Little Dragon raised an eyebrow. "Did you do this to your previous master, if you don't mind me asking?"   
  
The young genius was suddenly looking towards his feet. "Sima Yi was very, very different." He trailed off, and then catching the strange look on Zhao Yun's face, added quickly, "But the Prime Minister is also extremely clever. In fact, I take pride that I may become the pupil of the greatest mastermind in this age."   
  
Zhao Yun stared at Jiang Wei for a few more seconds before shrugging. Jiang Wei must have thought that he had been offended, but the truth was that Zhao Yun had noticed the way the younger boy had mentioned his previous master. Had there been something between them?   
  
He cleared his throat, and noticed Jiang Wei's spear. A smile crossed his face as he swung his own spear off his shoulder. "Fancy a duel?"   
  
Jiang Wei opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn't think of any excuses at the moment. Instead, he accepted nervously, fingering his weapon.   
  
Walking up, closer to his opponent, Jiang Wei looked uncertainly at him. Zhao Yun nodded, and after a moments decision, the young mastermind lunged forward.   
  
Zhao Yun brought up his spear automatically up to his face, and had to once again marvel at the strength Jiang Wei had. His face was screwed up in concentration, doing various slashes, and Zhao Yun found himself wincing as he blocked repetitively.   
  
Eyes widened as Jiang Wei suddenly shoved his spear upward. Only used to Guan Yu pulling this move, Zhao Yun cleared it only just. Flipping backwards and hearing the hiss of Blink underneath him, the Tiger General landed a few feet away, smiling softly.   
  
"It seems that I have made a mistake in underestimating your skill."   
  
Jiang Wei turned slightly pink, still breathless.   
  
"I'm sorry -"   
  
"It's fine." Tucking a wild strand of loose hair behind his ear, Zhao Yun held out his Fierce Dragon. "Be ready," he whispered before lunging forward.   
  
His speed was deadly. Jiang Wei ushered a faint gasp as Blink was thrown into the air and at the same time, he felt the tip of Fierce Dragon nick a cut in the palm of his hand.   
  
Zhao Yun dropped his weapon immediately, his clear, green eyes once again widening in shock. Moving without thinking, he gently took hold of Jiang Wei's hand and examined it. The blood was oozing out slowly, and kneeling down, the Tiger General quickly ripped off a strip of his shirt and tied it carefully around Jiang Wei's slightly smaller hand.   
  
Holding the hand unnecessarily tight for a moment and still on his knees, Zhao Yun suddenly realized what he was doing and looked up uncertainly at Jiang Wei. The young strategist's face was a steady shade of pink, and Zhao Yun felt a faint blush creep up onto his own tan face.   
  
He stood up, still holding Jiang Wei's hand, and stared down into his face. Jiang Wei stared back in fascination, sinking deep into the green orbs. They were the color of green that you could never describe - grass green but not, with small hints of teal. He found himself lost, drifting around in a perfect, spacious world...   
  
A yell suddenly came from inside Cheng Du and Zhao Yun dropped his hands immediately, turning away.   
  
Shaking himself back into the real world, Jiang Wei watched the other leave, his voice suddenly clogged in his throat.   
**********   
  
A/N: Second chapter up! This is not a one-shot! Well? How was it? I know the pairing Jiang Wei and Sima Yi seems a bit weird, but no one else from the Wei kingdom fitted properly. And yes, you did read the summary right, this IS a Zhao Yun and Jiang Wei fic, don't worry. Oh, and I know that Zhao Yun's eyes aren't really suppose to be green, but I've always imagined them that way so, yeah. Well, R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	3. Grief

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Three: Grief**  
  
The corridor was dark, quiet. Shadows danced faintly off the walls, an eerie pattern flicking from side to side.   
  
A single person was walking through the hall, his dark eyes looking straight ahead. Thick, beautiful ebony hair was tied up in a high ponytail by a silk ribbon, flowing gently around his shoulders. He was clothed in various shades of blue and purple, and a fancy shoulder-piece lay on his shoulder.   
  
Up ahead, his eyes fixed on a faint, flickering light. The darkness seemed to fade as he neared the room, and gracefully, he stepped inside.   
  
Scrolls festooned the many cushions, in some messy order that he could not define. Other books lay on the table, near the dim lamp, and quills could been seen scattered among them. A battle helmet lay on the nearest chair.   
  
A man sat in front of the table, his back facing the door. He wore dark purple robes, and his dark hair covered his face. Hearing someone enter, he turned around, his dark eyes slim, to reveal his face. He held a black fan in his hand.   
  
"Zhang He," he said darkly, his face showing no surprise or delight. The watching man trembled slightly at his voice, low and seducing.   
  
"Why are you here?"   
  
The elegant man hesitated before lowing himself down on the ground near Sima Yi. "I was merely checking on you."   
  
The strategist turned around to face his unfinished parchment. "What for? You are nothing but a distraction."   
  
Zhang He looked at the other, his eyes carrying entrancing beauty. "Forgive me..." he whispered, not meaning it.   
  
Sima Yi sighed, his mind drifting off to Jiang Wei. "Go. You must prepare for battle." He motioned towards the door.   
  
Zhang He frowned, not moving from where he sat. "You turn away beauty so easily. Is that all?"   
  
"I have preparations I must finish."   
  
"Your clever plans in reclaiming Jiang Wei is already foolproof!" Zhang He said loudly, slightly perplexed. He had never liked Jiang Wei. Of course, the young one was fair, but surely not as beautiful as he was! "Why do you live on dreams?"   
  
Sima Yi turned towards him, his lips pressed in a thin line. Zhang He stared back, swallowing. He would not move.   
  
The strategist suddenly pulled the other towards him, and Zhang He's eyes widened as Sima Yi abruptly kissed him, crushing his lips. Quick hands pulled at his long, dark hair, dragging him closer, and just as quickly as it had happened, Sima Yi pulled away.   
  
"Now," he hissed, "Leave. We attack Wu first. Our dominance for Shu will soon be cleared."   
  
He turned back to his work and ignored Zhang He completely. The officer felt faint tears prick his eyes as he got up quickly and left, leaving his passion behind.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The city was in ruins... flames still burning and licking hungrily... Trees that were once grand and beautiful groaned and shuddered, falling towards the dark red ground. The distant screams had faded... and above all else, there was silence.   
  
Under the remains of a ruined house, the burnt wood moved. There was a faint gasp and a sharp hiss of pain, and the timber was pushed up.   
  
A girl stood up limply, her knees weak and red battle garments ripped. She clutched two Sol Chakrams, and her dark eyes seemed weary, covered in dark memories that refused to fade. Taking a few weak steps, she fell face-forward onto the ground, her short brown hair hiding her face.   
  
Jian Ye had fallen.   
  
Her heart felt leaden, more out of shame then from the shooting stabs of pain in her right leg. The fiery spark had blown out long ago.   
  
She heard faint, uneven footsteps, but was too weak to move, let alone fight. Her eyes gazed out, unfocused, as a pair of worn, bloodstained boots stopped by her face.   
  
"Sun Shang Xiang..." came the faint call... and then, more urgently, "Sun Shang Xiang!"   
  
The voice belonged to a usually carefree man, and sounded slightly strange in this serious situation. He groaned as he put weight on his legs, his broken ribs singing out in pain. An Overload tonfa was thrust down vertically into the ground in front of her, and the girl would have jumped if she had had the strength.   
  
The Little Conqueror hissed as his breath came out shortly, kneeling down on his knees while supporting himself up with his arms. Damn that Cao Cao. Who would be cowardly enough to attack at night, when all was resting? He himself had barely got to his tonfas before he had felt something smash into his chest.   
  
It had looked like a flute.   
  
His mind cursed out at the woman who had held it. Who knew that Lady Zhen Ji could improve this much?   
  
"Sun Shang Xiang?" he asked more softly, looking concerned at his younger sister's face. Her eyes flickered, but she didn't move. "You dead down there?"   
  
He shook her limp form gently, and she coughed, blood splattering across the ground.   
  
"They killed him..." she whispered. "Killed him..."   
  
Sun Ce felt a lump rise in his throat. He knew perfectly well about whom she was talking about. His eyes suddenly blurred as he turned around and stared at the horrible reminder that Wei had left.   
  
On the ground, near the top of the now tree-bared hill, a sword glinted in the hungry flames, looking very much like Savage Tiger. Shoved roughly into the ground, it stood upright, the dreaded treasure on its hilt.   
  
Sun Jian's head.   
  
Wu was over. Gone.   
  
He felt no strength in his bones to carry on.   
  
_Forgive me... Father..._   
  
His thoughts were empty as he stared at the shocked and blank eyes of the former Wu ruler.   
  
Choking slightly and forcing down the lump in his throat, he shifted his attention back to his sister.   
  
"Come on, sis!" he whispered, making a weak attempt to seem his former self. "Don't tell me this little thing can kill a warrior such as you!"   
  
She closed her eyes, sighing. Her grip on the Sol Chakram loosened. "It's over," she whispered, staring into the darkness of her eyelids. "I couldn't do anything. It was all so sudden... people were dying so quickly..." She breathed weakly. "Why did they come so abruptly? They wear the name of Coward on their backs, and yet they have no shame."   
  
He stared at her, his words leaving his mouth as if they had been stolen. His ribs cried out again, and he made a face, breathing with difficulty. "Come on... I don't like to be waiting this long..." Placing his tonfas under one arm, he swung her limp arm around his shoulders and staggered upwards. Every step was agony.   
  
She lay like a sack on his back, her feet dragging slightly behind them.   
  
"There are survivors... Nearly everyone, in fact, except for..." His hazel eyes trailed off to the glinting sign from hell. Sun Jian stared back, his expression never changing. His voice was weaker now, "Father would have wanted it this way."   
  
Sun Shang Xiang opened her eyes. A faint spark seemed to light. Gingerly, she put weight on her injured leg where Xiahou Dun had slashed it, her Sol Chakrams slipping down to her elbows. Sun Ce looked at her. No words were spoken, but he smiled faintly. "There's the girl that I know."   
  
They slowly made their way to the burnt gates of Jian Ye. In the shelter of several fallen trees, other officers could be seen.   
  
Sun Quan hobbled to meet them. "Sun Ce! You found her!" His left arm seemed to be bent in an odd angle, and Sun Shang Xiang noticed that there were several deep gashes on his chest.   
  
"How many...?" she trailed off, looking at her brother's face.   
  
He bit his lip, forcing a smile. "Amazingly, Wei took only one officer..." He swallowed. "Most of the farmers and peasants managed to escape, and for that I am grateful. We have found three of the ones that didn't have the time to leave."   
  
He turned around, and the two got to see a little boy, only at around five, shaking in fear with a nasty wound across his forehead. He held an even smaller infant in his arms, a little girl, who was positively screaming. A fair woman sat a little ways off, her long dark hair flowing over her face.   
  
Sun Shang Xiang opened her mouth to ask another question, but Sun Quan took her off Sun Ce's shoulders, riding him of his burden, and he placed her gently on the ground so that her back rested comfortably against the fallen log. Da Qiao was already there, treating as many people as she could. Her medical skills weren't the best, but they were good enough. The older Qiao didn't seem to have many wounds from the unknown attack - in fact, Sun Shang Xiang only saw several cuts on her face.   
  
"Lady Sun Shang Xiang," she whispered, limply slightly towards her. The tomboy saw Xiao Qiao a few feet away, lying down with her eyes closed. The young girl had received a deep gash in her waist.   
  
"Are you alright?" the beauty asked, brushing a few strands out her face. She looked at Sun Shang Xiang's leg and clucked, shaking her head. "This might sting a bit..."   
  
The pain was dull, however she chose to look away while Da Qiao mended her cut, finding sudden interest in her chakrams.   
  
"I've got one!" a voice hollered, slightly weary and yet still containing a playful drawl.   
  
Zhou Yu turned his head, previously talking quietly with Lu Meng. His ebony colored hair fell from his shoulders as he stood up. Lu Meng looked curiously around, clutching his arm.   
  
Gan Ning was walking out from Jian Ye, carrying something in his arms. The city was in dark flames behind him, reaching out as if to drag him back in.   
  
Nearing the sorrowful camp, they realized that the former pirate held the young strategist in his arms. Lu Xun was covered in bruises and cuts, his eyes closed and breathing unevenly. His cap had fallen off, and his hair flowed around his face, making him look more feminine than ever.   
  
"Damn them!" he muttered as he carefully placed Lu Xun on the ground. He plopped down besides him, brushing blood from over his left eye. He looked towards the young officer again, his face turning gentle, before shaking his head and looking back up towards Sun Ce. "Huang Gai should be coming. I couldn't carry him even if I wasn't wounded."   
  
There came an agonized yell and they turned, Gan Ning hiding a faint smile as Huang Gai came staggering into view, hopping on his right leg. The left one seemed horribly wounded. The big man carried both of Lu Xun's Falcons in one hand, held Gan Ning's Sea Master in the other hand, and had his jaws clamped around the base of his Dark Shadow. How he could hold the club up in his teeth, the others didn't know.   
  
Cursing in between every jump, he roared angrily as he saw the former pirate smiling sheepishly near the fallen trees. Zhou Tai and Taishi Ci walked by the frustrated man, forcing themselves not to smile and making no intention of helping.   
  
"Little bastard!" Huang Gai growled, spitting out his club, which landed heavily on the ground. He deposited the two Falcons and Sea Master near Gan Ning's feet, glaring. Lu Xun opened his amber eyes slowly, his face wincing in faint pain as he struggled to sit up.   
  
Having finished with Sun Shang Xiang, Da Qiao quickly hurried towards Huang Gai, who accepted her help though seething.   
  
Zhou Tai turned around, staring back towards his previous home. "Jian Ye is beyond repair." His eyes were blank, reflecting off the burning inferno.   
  
"There is still light," Sun Quan said loudly, looking towards his older brother. Sun Ce stared back, his face emptied of hope before faking a cocky smile.   
  
"Sun Jian has been lost, but the Sun family still remains. We will get revenge, mark my words." Sun Shang Xiang looked up at Sun Quan's words. "You bet we will!" Some of her determination returned.   
  
"We have only lost one life, and let us be grateful." He looked up towards the distant hill and turned harshly away. "Our only hope remains with Shu."   
  
Silence followed, but the remaining Wu officers looked on towards Sun Quan with faint hope flickering in their eyes.   
  
Sun Ce hopped up, ignoring his protesting ribs. "Come on then! We have much land to cover." His eyes flickered from each face and rested on Zhou Yu, who smiled faintly.   
  
"Let us go, and may we all prevail," he whispered, walking up to massage his Lord's shoulders lightly.   
  
There was bitterness in his voice that he couldn't hide.   
  
Wu had fallen.   
**********   
  
A/N: Okay, so I know that some of the characters of Wu were sort of out of wack in this chapter, but even Sun Ce and Gan Ning would be depressed after losing an unknown attack. I also know that after Sun Jian's death, Sun Ce and Sun Quan are supposed to take his place, but... this is my world. ^^;;; Sorry... Anyhoo, I'm not that sure if I should add other couples in this story, so I need your opinions about this chapter. And yes, I will include Zhao Yun and Jiang Wei in the next chapter! Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	4. Kiss

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Four: Kiss**  
  
He didn't know why he had done that. He felt so stupid, helpless. His footsteps faltered as he thought about turning back.   
  
No. It would signal as a bigger sign of defeat.   
  
And no matter how much his heart hurt, he knew he couldn't show any signs of weakness, or else Jiang Wei could be taken in a second.   
  
Another yell came from the inside of Cheng Du, sounding suspiciously like Zhang Fei. Zhao Yun should have known.   
  
He clutched Fierce Dragon hard, his knuckles turning white. Before the doors of Cheng Du, the Tiger General risked a glance behind him.   
  
Jiang Wei was staring up into the sky, Blink once again in his hand. His clear, smooth face seemed confused and sad, lined with smooth, glinting liquid.   
  
Tears?   
  
Zhao Yun shook his head, pushing his dreams to the back of his mind. He stepped inside Cheng Du, and yet could not rid the image of Jiang Wei, his delicate body outlined against the clear sky, sparkling substances falling from his gentle, brown eyes.   
  
"Damn," Zhao Yun muttered, rubbing his head with a callused hand and closing his green eyes. Perhaps he would attend the meeting with Zhuge Liang after all.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The sky with its many swirling colors held no interest for Jiang Wei. Everything was blurred, from the smallest bird to the dazzling rays of the sun.   
  
He was crying.   
  
For what reason, he did not know.   
  
Jiang Wei absentmindedly raised his wounded hand to his face, examining the white cloth, now stained in red. He remembered the soft touch of the fierce Tiger General, the gentle green eyes...   
  
He felt confused, lost, and most of all angry.   
  
Why?   
  
_If only Sima Yi was here..._   
  
He clenched his fist, his nails digging even deeper into his already open wound. The pain was dull, blunted, and he was oblivious to the blood dripping from his hand.   
  
Jiang Wei's head suddenly snapped upright and he stood still, ripping himself away from his thoughts. His keen, brown eyes darted among the distant trees.   
  
There was something out there.   
  
Unmistakably, he saw movement by the roots of a great pine. He narrowed his eyes, and saw the rustle of purple fabric.   
  
He recognized it instantly as a Wei bodyguard.   
  
And judging from the outfit, the man was obviously an elite bodyguard, for ones high up in rank. Jiang Wei's mind fell quickly on Cao Cao, Xiahou Dun...   
  
... or Sima Yi.   
  
His body immediately felt ripped.   
  
Days ago, he would have eagerly jumped forward, ready to be taken back into Wei. But now, the man in the trees seemed more like an enemy, part of a kingdom of fear.   
  
He didn't know what to do.   
  
A giggle sounded behind him and he spun around, Blink raised menacingly in his hand.   
  
The tip of his spear was pointed inches away from Mei Hua's surprised face.   
  
"Jiang Wei?" she asked timidly, her big eyes dancing in shock. The girl swallowed, staring intently at Blink.   
  
"Oh... forgive me..." The young strategist lowered his weapon, his eyes darting back towards the trees.   
  
The scout was gone.   
  
"Jiang Wei?" Mei Hua asked again. A faint gasp left her throat as she suddenly grasped his hand, her short brown hair falling over her face. "What happened?"   
  
"N-nothing..." Jiang Wei sighed. "You should be back inside."   
  
"But -"   
  
"It's dangerous out here."   
  
She pouted, her overly sweet face turning into a frown. Staring at him quietly, she nodded in defeat. "Very well." Turning around, she skipped back towards Cheng Du, singing contentedly on the way.   
  
Jiang Wei started back towards the city too.   
  
A sudden impulse drew him back.   
  
He was sure that there had been more than one scout.   
  
His clever brain automatically whipped into action as he realized the meaning.   
  
What should he do?   
  
He stood still for a moment, uncertain, before turning and running towards Cheng Du.   
  
He would tell Zhuge Liang.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhao Yun arrived at the meeting during the last few minutes. Zhuge Liang sighed, a faint smile crossing his face, before continuing his speech. Pang Tong and Yue Ying stood by the doorway, and as the Tiger General stepped inside, Pang Tong looked up at him.   
  
"A bit late, young one?" His old face was crinkled into a smile.   
  
"I believe I was. Forgive me," Zhao Yun whispered back.   
  
Zhuge Liang cleared his throat, looking towards his wife, who smiled gently at his slightly harassed expression. He cleared his throat loudly again, waving his fan at several people. The room slowly turned quiet. "As I was saying -"   
  
He was interrupted, once again, as Jiang Wei burst into the room, panting and looking stricken. Zhao Yun, Pang Tong and Yue Ying all quickly moved out of the doorway as the young officer rushed past them. His hair a mess and eyes wide, he headed right up towards the Prime Minister without talking.   
  
Zhuge Liang looked surprised as Jiang Wei stopped in front of him and promptly whispered soft words in his ear. The Prime Minister was silent, eyes closed, and then nodded. "Inform Lord Liu Bei immediately."   
  
Jiang Wei bowed before rushing out of the room, stumbling on the threshold. His footsteps soon faded away.   
  
Silence stretched as everyone leaned forward, anxious to hear the news. Even Zhang Fei was quiet, his red face intent. Yue Ying and Pang Tong looked at each other, confused. Ma Chao frowned, his eyes narrowed.   
  
"My friends," Zhuge Liang stated, his voice strong and sure in the quiet room as he fanned himself automatically. "I'm afraid that Wei is declaring war."   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Night had fallen. Zhao Yun was outside the city once again, except this time it was completely dark. No light shone from inside Cheng Du. Not even a spark.   
  
The lonely moon was the only glowing source of light at night.   
  
Faint rays of moonlight flowed over him, outlining his hair, body, and glinting off Fierce Dragon.   
  
The meeting had been so long ago, and yet Zhuge Liang's words would not disappear.   
  
Wei was declaring war.   
  
Something brushed his arm, and he looked down.   
  
Jiang Wei.   
  
The young strategist stood next to him, his slender figure silhouetted against the moon. The graceful image permanently froze on Zhao Yun's mind.   
  
"Are you prepared for battle against Wei?" Jiang Wei asked softly, his eyes never leaving the night sky.   
  
Zhao Yun nodded. "As sure as ever." He examined Jiang Wei for a while. "Are you ready?"   
  
At this Jiang Wei sighed. "I don't know..." His eyes were leaden, covered in sorrow. "I just..."   
  
The older man looked back up into the sky. Stars glittered above them, creating a never-ending pattern of lights.   
  
"You loved him, didn't you?" It was more of a statement then a question.   
  
Jiang Wei blushed, his eyes reflecting the stars. "I guess I did," he admitted. He looked up at Zhao Yun, who sighed, a faint smile crossing his lips as he locked eyes with the other.   
  
So that was it. The truth about Jiang Wei's past. He felt the strange jealousy overcome his body again. "If you must fight them, will you?"   
  
Jiang Wei didn't answer for a long moment, and then whispered, "I'm in Shu now. Wei is the past."   
  
Zhao Yun nodded, looking intently into gentle, sparkling brown eyes. Jiang Wei looked so innocent and young against the night sky.   
  
"Even Sima Yi?" he asked.   
  
Jiang Wei swallowed, looking towards the ground. He didn't know what to say. So many unknown emotions were fighting inside of him, and yet... "I can't forget him. Not yet," he whispered, looking up at the Tiger General again.   
  
Zhao Yun looked down at his faintly glowing face, and slowly brushed a strand of smooth, dark hair from Jiang Wei's face. The young strategist shivered slightly at his touch but didn't pull away, falling once again into the radiating green orbs.   
  
"I understand that your love is devoted to Sima Yi..." Zhao Yun whispered, pulling him gently closer. "... but..."   
  
They stared at each other for several moments before the Tiger General leaned down, kissing the other softly. It wasn't a kiss exactly, more like a simple brush of the lips, but Jiang Wei's eyes widened in shock. Zhao Yun was so close and so warm, like the darkest protector...   
  
He never knew a person could be so gentle.   
  
Zhao Yun pulled away, staring into Jiang Wei's flushed face. Stroking the young strategist's cheek, Zhao Yun turned his head towards Cheng Du.   
  
"It's getting cold. You should head in."   
  
Jiang Wei was at loss of words. He stared up at Zhao Yun's handsome face and suddenly felt at home. Nodding wordlessly, he faced the city, but before he had moved, he stopped and turned around. "What about you?"   
  
"I'm going to stay out here for a while longer," Zhao Yun said quietly, his eyes drifting back towards the moon.   
  
Jiang Wei nodded, smiling faintly, and headed back inside, a hand reaching up to brush his lips.   
**********   
  
A/N: Fourth chapter up! How was it? And no, this is **NOT** the last chapter... there are still a lot more chapters to come, and I would also like to add that along with the chapters, there will be many pairings too (not ALL yaoi) ^^ However... I seem to be disapointing many reviewers... and I'm not that sure if I should continue this... But... I might... Anyhoo, R&R! And just maybe you will be seeing the next chapter of this!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	5. Guilty Desire

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Five: Guilty Desire**  
  
Red Hare whinnied, rearing up into the sky on a high, overhanging cliff. He snorted, his fierce red eyes glaring at the sun, his dark mane glowing from the light. Swishing his tail impatiently, he nickered softly, pawing the ground. His rider sat proud on his back, Blue Moon Dragon held firmly in his hands.   
  
Guan Yu squinted towards the horizon. His thoughts swirled effortlessly in his mind. Something was there, yes, but too far away to determine...   
  
A white stallion passed him, stopping at the edge. The grand horse looked down into the far plains below him, shaking his head. On top of him, the Little Dragon narrowed his piercing emerald eyes. Two minuscule suns were reflected in each eye as he raised his Fierce Dragon, pointing towards a specific area.   
  
"There." He stared at the designated spot for a few seconds longer before turning his horse around. "Wu troops." The stallion whinnied, raising his head proudly as he waited for further orders.   
  
Red Hare followed, eager to run, his red ears flicking forward, and Guan Yu steered him towards Cheng Du. "I must go inform Lord Liu Bei."   
  
Zhao Yun nodded, nudging his own steed towards the faint figures in the distance.   
  
He frowned.   
  
What was going on?   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Jiang Wei looked up, slightly shocked, as a fierce whinny came from the grounds below. Besides him, Zhuge Liang got up, walking towards the window. His face became grave and he rushed towards the door, beckoning Jiang Wei after him. Puzzled, the young genius followed, his mind still lingering on the previous night's fantasy.   
  
Calming down Red Hare, Guan Yu watched as Zhuge Liang, Jiang Wei, Yue Ying and Huang Zhong hurried out towards him. Liu Bei ran out a few seconds after them, Gold Moon Dragon already in his hand.   
  
"What is it?" he asked, walking towards Guan Yu.   
  
"My Lord..." Guan Yu began. "It is Wu."   
  
The leader of Shu stood still, a strange expression crossing his face. Finally, he struggled out, "Is Lady Sun with them?"   
  
"From what I could tell, yes. Sun Jian does not appear to be with them. They seem injured greatly, and Zhao Yun is already there. I believe Ma Chao is on his way also, since I passed him on my way here."   
  
The Lord hesitated, and Jiang Wei frowned, trying to read his face. "Perhaps we should go assist them." He immediately thought about Zhao Yun. What if the officers of Wu were perfectly fine and Zhao Yun was in danger? Of course, the general had Ma Chao to help him, but even so... two Tiger Generals facing a whole kingdom couldn't possibly win... He looked back towards Liu Bei as the Lord spoke again.   
  
"Let us go," he whispered before running towards his horse.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Sun Ce looked up wearily as he saw a white stallion gallop towards his troops. The Little Dragon sat unmistakably on its back. The flash of his Fierce Dragon wasn't easy to miss.   
  
The grand horse reared up in front of them, its dangerous hooves flashing. Landing back on all fours, it nickered, standing still a few feet away from the intruders.   
  
"Officers of Wu," Zhao Yun stated clearly, Fierce Dragon propped up against his arm. "What business do you have with Shu?"   
  
"Nothing to do with fighting, anyway," Sun Ce drawled, his dull eyes full of caution. Now was not the time to mess with any officer, especially a Tiger General.   
  
"As you can see, we have placed our weapons away," Sun Quan muttered, coughing. "We had no intention of fighting. We ask only for shelter and the friendship that Wu and Shu once had."   
  
Zhao Yun lowered his weapon, staring at the sorrowful group. Indeed, Sun Jian wasn't among them. Huang Gai was being supported by both Lu Meng and Taishi Ci, who each had one of his arms slung across their shoulders. Lu Xun once again had his eyes closed, in the arms of the playful pirate. The two Qiaos were both up but injured, both attempting to comfort the three homeless survivors that weren't officers.   
  
Zhou Yu was limping, helped by his also hurt sworn brother. Sun Shang Xiang held her Sol Chakrams and lowered them when Sun Quan sent her a meaningful look. Zhou Tai stood quietly in the back of the group, his hand on the hilt of his sword.   
  
The Little Dragon sighed, and at the same time, another rider raced in front of them. His horse whinnied and reared, its figure outlined against the sky. A man sat on top, fierce, with a bronze battle helmet and a deadly spear. Zhao Yun turned to look at his rival, his lips thinning into a line.   
  
"Where is your leader?" Ma Chao questioned, his fierce eyes glinting.   
  
Sun Shang Xiang looked angrily at him. "Our -"   
  
"He has fallen," Sun Quan interrupted in a soft voice. "We were attacked during the night by Wei."   
  
The great horse Lord paused, as if about to speak, before he turned and looked icily at Zhao Yun, who nodded, though coldly. "Wei is a common enemy here," Ma Chao stated, "having murdered my father."   
  
Zhao Yun turned his horse, looking over his shoulder. "We can lead you back to Cheng Du. I am sure that Liu Bei will allow your presence."   
  
The Sun sister swallowed on the name of her husband.   
  
They had not moved for five minutes before a distant horde of horses could be seen...   
  
And Liu Bei rode in the front, his eyes fixed on Sun Shang Xiang.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
An elegant and soft melody flowed over the quiet city of Xu Chang. Combined with intensity, grace, and beauty, the many tired Wei officers looked up, refreshed.   
  
As the sound washed over Xiahou Dun, he sighed and closed his single eye. The song was more than music to him.   
  
It was a melody that, though beautiful, carried a weight of sadness, never ceasing to remind him of the wound in his heart that refused to go away. The pain that was shared with another, who knew perfectly well of their impossible fate.   
  
He opened his eyes as the melody changed, from sweet and elegance into pain.   
  
Why should the Lady be feeling so?   
  
He quickly stood up, sprinting through the many halls of Xu Chang. His sharp eyes scanned every corner, but he did not see the figure that he constantly dreamed of.   
  
Finally, the garden came into view, and he saw a form sitting alone on a stone bench. Long, dark, silky hair was tied up with a gold ribbon, flowing down to the small of her back. A graceful peacock ornament was placed gently on her lovely hair and a single pink jewel hung over the center her forehead.   
  
An elegant dress clothed her body, shades of purple covered in gold patterns and black, feathered lining. Splitting in half and showing her long, slender legs, purple high-heels were revealed.   
  
He stepped forwards slowly until he was right behind her, watching her every move with yearning. Dark eyelashes hid her eyes as she blew into her elaborate, purple and gold flute with her rose-colored lips, creating the longing and emotional melody.   
  
Feeling a hand on her shoulder, the beautiful woman opened her eyes, pausing. The loss of sound was sudden, and the garden seemed strangely quiet.   
  
"Lady Zhen Ji," the Wei officer whispered, his eyes narrowed in concern. "Is there something that bothers you?"   
  
She sighed faintly, gazing at his hand. Leaning back into his embrace, she closed her eyes, avoiding his question. "You have come here again when you shouldn't. If Cao Pi ever found out about us -"   
  
He hesitated before sitting down beside her. She opened her eyes again, and he stared into the gentle warmth of those two orbs. His usual gruffness faded away. "Your music contains pain. Why?"   
  
She looked at her flute, averting her eyes. "I feel like such a disgrace."   
  
"For attacking a kingdom during the night?" he questioned.   
  
He heard her breath in sharply. "Sima Yi claims that fighting this way is faster, easier. However... I believe that if we had attacked during the day, we would still be fighting now."   
  
"What do you mean by that?"   
  
She slowly stared into his face. "I believe that Sima Yi fears that we are no match for Wu. He is afraid that we may fail, and so uses the darkest way to win." She sighed again. "Can love really stretch that far? To force a person into doing something so cowardly just to get back what he wants? I will never know..." She clenched her fists. "I am married to one that I will never love."   
  
Lifting a callused hand, he brushed a strand of her perfect hair out of her pale face. She looked at him sadly, raising her own slender fingers and covering his hand with her own.   
  
"Zhen Ji..." he whispered, unconsciously sliding his other hand around her slender waist. She felt faint tears prick her enchanting eyes.   
  
He pulled her close, and she willingly obliged, even though her body shook. This was not allowed. If anyone were to find out...   
  
It could reach the extent of her losing the one that she truly loved.   
  
And yet she didn't pull back. It was as if she didn't care anymore, as long as she had this one precious moment to fully enjoy.   
  
She stared into his face, taking in every inch. Xiahou Dun was handsome, though there were definitely others who outranked him in looks, but his courage and bravery were the things that she found herself attracted to.   
  
She didn't care that he only had one eye, didn't care if he was a bit gruff. He was gentle on the inside, and that was all that mattered.   
  
He had always loved her and she him. Their hearts had been torn when Zhen Ji had been forced to marry Cao Pi.   
  
And now...   
  
His own long, dark hair brushed her flushed cheeks as he leaned forward...   
  
So close...   
  
He could feel her soft breath on his face, smell the scent of flowers in her hair...   
  
Merely inches apart, she heard a voice in the hall, becoming gradually louder.   
  
She knew that voice.   
  
She could recognize it anywhere.   
  
Cao Pi.   
  
Xiahou Dun frowned, confused, as she pulled away. "I must leave," she murmured, tears falling from her eyes. Picking up her Dark Moon Flute, she quickly hurried towards the empty corridor. The clicking of her shoes soon faded away.   
**********   
  
A/N: Okay, so I wanted to continue this story. As do others so... I think I've got down all of the couples in this story. Sorry if you wanted to see some more yaoi couples! But, as a bright spot for you, I'm planning to write a Gan Ning x Lu Xun fic soon... It's called **Innocence** but that's as far as I've got... >.>... A Sima Yi x Zhang He fic is also in the works! Oh, and if any of you like Xiahou Dun x Zhen Ji coupling, I've already posted a chapter of it in the story **Dark Pleasure**. But anyway... I'll stop advertising now. Please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	6. Bonding

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Six: Bonding**  
  
Sun Shang Xiang leaned on the railing of the balcony, overlooking the Shu kingdom. She sighed as a breeze brushed her face, causing her short, brown hair to flow.   
  
Her eyes hardened on the distant horizon, where smoke could still be seen.   
  
The remains of Wu.   
  
No... she mustn't think of that now...   
  
Turning around, she blinked in surprise as she saw Liu Bei a few feet behind her, his gentle eyes examining her face. The usual combination of love and fear that she received on the battlefield faded quickly as she stared at him, swallowing.   
  
He walked up towards her, reaching up a finger to stroke the side of her face. Tearing his eyes away from her gaze, he looked over his city. "How is it here?" he asked quietly, not daring to turn towards her face.   
  
"It's been fine, thanks." She smiled, standing next to him, her arms crossed on the rail. Her eyes caught a curious, exploring Sun Ce down below, followed by a very harassed looking Zhou Yu. The others were probably inside, still resting. Laughing faintly, she smiled. "You haven't changed."   
  
"Neither have you," he whispered softly, looking down at her. She shifted her eyes back onto him, grinning happily. He delicately placed an arm around her waist, playing with a strand of her hair. "I've missed you."   
  
"Don't go mushy on me," she murmured, concealing a faint giggle.   
  
He scoffed, tracing her cheek with a finger before trailing down to her lips. Placing his hand under her chin, he softly raised her face.   
  
Her smile slowly faded as she bit her lip, stealing glances up at him. He lifted an eyebrow, slightly amused, and she slipped her own slender arm around him. Together, they stood quietly, the sights of Cheng Du glistening beneath them.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Jiang Wei sighed, looking outside the open window. The parchment in which he was supposed to be working on was blank. The quill was once again motionless in the inkbottle.   
  
It was another bright day. The sun pierced through the scattered clouds, the rays shining golden on the grounds.   
  
He sighed, smiling faintly as he heard faint chatter below. Birds twittered quietly, flying among the trees.   
  
Shu had become relaxed. The previous chaos of Wei attacking had faded. Of course, everyone was still prepared, but the tension had died down a bit.   
  
Wu was leaderless, but after finally meeting again with Sun Shang Xiang, Liu Bei didn't seem to mind the other officers that much. For all Jiang Wei knew, the officers of Wu were staying for a while.   
  
Walking to the window, he breathed in the fresh air, closing his eyes faintly.   
  
He suddenly perked as he heard a familiar voice down below.   
  
Very familiar.   
  
Opening his big, mahogany eyes, he recognized the shape of the Little Dragon. He stared at him for a while, leaning slightly on the windowsill.   
  
Zhao Yun seemed so calm, and yet strangely alert. He was laughing faintly, talking with Sun Ce, his usual charming smile radiating throughout the grounds. The sun struck off his body, making the smallest features gleam. His handsome face shined faintly, and Jiang Wei grinned to himself.   
  
Thoughts of Sima Yi had faded. He no longer thought endlessly of the Wei strategist. Sure, there were times, but after that night, things had changed...   
  
He turned away from the window. Softly, he walked out of the room, heading towards his beloved Tiger General.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhao Yun felt at ease, after all of the long, sleepless nights. The would-be Wu lord grinned cockily at him, Zhou Yu chuckling quietly at his side and the Shu general smiled back.   
  
Turning, Zhou Yu sighed. "Oh... There's Zhuge Liang." Squinting more closely, he scratched his head, the long hair flowing like a miniature waterfall from his shoulders. Zhuge Liang beckoned him with his feathered fan, and Zhou Yu waved back before he jerked harshly on Sun Ce's arm. "See you," the strategist murmured, waving towards Zhao Yun with his free hand.   
  
Sun Ce's ponytail swung wildly as he was yanked over towards the Prime Minister. "Later then," he declared, and then walked, now back on balance, with his sworn brother.   
  
Zhao Yun stretched, rubbing his eyes, and heard soft footsteps behind him. Turning around, he smiled warmly, raising an eyebrow. "Jiang Wei?"   
  
The slender figure was standing among the dark trees, blending in with the shadows, and with surprised planted all over his face. He had been obviously shocked when he had been discovered. The strategist blushed, the familiar pink spreading through his face. "H-Hi..." he managed, mumbling towards his feet. His dark hair fell forward, hiding his flushed cheeks.   
  
"What's all the embarrassment for?" Zhao Yun walked forward towards Jiang Wei. He bent over, trying to look at the younger man's face. He suddenly dropped the smile. "Did... did last night... Did it offend you in... any way?"   
  
The genius bit his lip, though through his hair, Zhao Yun wasn't able see it. He didn't answer, not knowing how to express his feelings.   
  
"Jiang Wei?" the Tiger General asked. He frowned slightly, leaning his back casually against a nearby tree, and then more tentatively, "Boyue?"   
  
At this, Jiang Wei looked up. His eyes widened as he shivered slightly, two big orbs on his innocent face. It was the way Zhao Yun had said it, soft and yet dark, rolling so musically off his tongue.   
  
Looking up at him, Jiang Wei smiled faintly to himself. He shifted his gaze past the trees, towards the distant, chattering officers, as if making sure no one else was looking...   
  
... And then blushing furiously, he leaned up and kissed Zhao Yun on the lips, twisting his fingers into the smooth, dark hair.   
  
The fierce Shu officer blinked in surprise, though he didn't pull away. The shock wearing off, he slid his arms around Jiang Wei's waist and deepened the kiss, pulling the strategist closer.   
  
His lips were ever so soft... Zhao Yun could feel the warmth of Jiang Wei against his body, the silky brush of his hair.   
  
The Little Dragon gently persuaded the other to open his lips, brushing the interior of Jiang Wei's mouth with his tongue.   
  
Jiang Wei gasped in surprise, the sound muffled by the other's mouth, as pleasant, tingling sensations spread throughout his body.   
  
They broke apart, Jiang Wei's face still extremely pink. A faint, red blush was also slowly creeping up Zhao Yun's face. He coughed, clearing his throat as he realized suddenly how close they were.   
  
Jiang Wei laughed softly, breaking the silence. Looking up with sparkling eyes at the man before him, he whispered softly, "Last night didn't bother me at all. On the contrary, I think... I think I'm falling in love with you..."   
  
Zhao Yun swallowed, and then a dazzling smile dawned on his face. "And I you." His green eyes blazing with happiness, he kissed Jiang Wei gently on the cheek. Together, they headed back out of the trees.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Sima Yi sighed, closing his narrow eyes and fanning himself, his lips pulled back in a dark, satisfied smile.   
  
Zhang He stood in the doorway behind him, his hands clenched and shadows covering his face. His dark hair flowed out behind him, framing his slender body. Other soldiers were in the room, quiet and motionless.   
  
Sima Yi slowly turned towards his parchment. "You are sure of this?" he asked in a low, dangerous voice.   
  
One of the soldiers cleared his throat. "Yes. Shu is very well aware that we will attack, sooner or later."   
  
The strategist raised his eyebrows. "Which idiot has ruined my plan?" His voice was even softer now, his eyes hooded.   
  
"He is Jia Kuo, Prime Minister. He was seen during a search of the territory."   
  
"I believe he is under Cao Cao?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
Sima Yi played with his fan, brushing the feathers over his face seductively. His eyes flicked faintly onto Zhang He, who gritted his teeth but didn't move, and then focused back to his conversation.   
  
Zhang He stared quietly into the darkness of his hair. His teeth hurt from clenching them so hard, and his fists gave off the painful expression that he had cut through the skin with his nails. He knew what Sima Yi was trying to get him to do... And though he had fallen for it many times before, he wouldn't be tricked for it now, especially after he had been turned down, yet again.   
  
He knew the strategist was trying to use him, to seduce for his own pleasures until his beloved Jiang Wei was back. Unshed tears pricked faintly at his eyes. So that was it. He was nothing to Sima Yi, only a disposable item. No matter the amount of his beauty...   
  
"Kill him. It is only what the fool deserves." Sima Yi's dark voice rang through the room. He twirled a strand of hair around his finger.   
  
The chief soldier shifted uneasily, and then nodded. "Very well." Several men dispatched themselves from the group and left soundlessly.   
  
"What about your plans for Shu?" the man questioned cautiously.   
  
Sima Yi stared at the man for a long time, his eyes narrowed, and then smiled faintly. "We shall continue to attack."   
  
Faint murmurs of confusion greeted these words.   
  
"Enough!" the clever man hissed. The chatter died down immediately. "We go when the time is ready. Now, leave. I have no more use for you."   
  
The soldiers nodded and then one by one left the room. Zhang He turned also, but Sima Yi called him back.   
  
"Zhang He. Wait." His voice, though soft, was clearly heard.   
  
It was an order. The elegant man stood rooted to the spot, and then slowly turned around. "Yes?" His voice was cold.   
  
Sima Yi beckoned him closer with his fan, a faint, seductive grin sliding to his face. Zhang He sighed, and then walked forward.   
  
"What orders do you wish to give?" His voice was dull, far loosing its usual charm and grace.   
  
The strategist stared at him for a while. "You are angry. Jealous, perhaps?" A smile curled around his lips.   
  
The other remained silent.   
  
Sima Yi examined him for a second, and then abruptly stood up, jerking the elegant man towards him. Zhang He made a cry of protest, the sudden movement snapping his head backwards.   
  
Hot lips nipped his neck, trailing slowly up to his bottom lip. He breathed sharply as fluttering longing ran through his body. Zhang He closed his fists, the blood once again seeping down his wrists. No... He wasn't going to give in this easily...   
  
He could feel wetness lapping along his jawline, declining to flick his earlobe. Fingers tangled into his long, ebony hair, pulling slightly and sending faint stabs of pain. And though he tried to stop it, a faint gasp escaped his throat.   
  
Sima Yi smirked, pulling away. "Oh?" He stared with faint satisfaction at the red bite marks on Zhang He's pale skin. "You barely have any reaction."   
  
The other man breathed slowly, averting his eyes. "I don't planned to be used again."   
  
The strategist laughed, the sound ringing mercilessly throughout the room. His eyes still sparkling with amusement, he turned back to his work. "I have an order for you."   
  
Zhang He nodded, rubbing his neck, his eyes dark and downcast.   
  
"Before the finally battle begins, I want my treasure back. I'm trusting you to get him for me." His eyes flashed, once again glowing with lust.   
  
The Wei officer swallowed. Shadows hiding his face again, he paused before he quickly turned towards the door. "Very well."   
**********   
  
A/N: *sigh* How was it? I've never really done these things before... Was it cheesy? Ah well... and as for the next chapter, it's not going to be posted up for a while (SORRY!) since I've got to go some where... >.>... Anyhoo, as usually, please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	7. Surrounded

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Seven: Surrounded**  
  
Exquisite, green eyes closed as the officer sighed. He handled his spear, the slender and yet strong fingers running along the curving, dangerous blade.   
  
There was a strange and yet innocent, peaceful feeling in the air. Many of the other men had relaxed, spending the days in lazy enjoyment, or challenging each other to friendly duels.   
  
He lowered his face, examining his weapon more closely. Dark, smooth bangs drifted across his face, and the long, shining hair that had not been bothered to be tied back had fallen over his strong shoulders.   
  
A young strategist sat across from him, clothed in comfortable, casual green silk. He was a bit small and more slim, less muscular. Numerous scrolls lay before him, and his soft brown eyes, hidden underneath long lashes, skated back and forth as he skimmed a new one. A single strand of dark hair fell in front of his face, and he smiled faintly before tucking it behind his ear.   
  
Zhao Yun let his eyes wander away from Fierce Dragon and onto Jiang Wei's figure. The boy was so pure, like an angel from the heavens.   
  
He was perfect.   
  
Feeling eyes on the back of his head, Jiang Wei slowly looked up from his scroll. Brown orbs gazed into green.   
  
Jiang Wei grinned, his cute face lighting up. Wordlessly, he gathered ups his belongings and scurried over to Zhao Yun, who didn't comment and immediately scooted over to give the younger boy some room.   
  
Settling himself down, Jiang Wei rested his head on Zhao Yun's shoulder, sighed contentedly, before he returned back to his reading.   
  
The Tiger General gently placed his arm around his lover's smaller body, looking deeply into the sweet, and yet complex face.   
  
Jiang Wei smiled again, and tilted his head.   
  
Their lips brushed.   
  
The comfortable silence stretched on.   
  
Not a word was said, but voices weren't needed.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Golden eyes slowly opened as the young boy stared up at the clear, blue sky. His slightly disobedient, light brown hair blew about in his face as small breezes past him, looking as feminine as many of the other women in the city.   
  
He cleared his throat slightly. A red and gold hat was held in his slim hands, which were placed on his chest as he lay on his back, eyes lost high up in the clouds.   
  
The playful pirate yawned loudly, and blinked as he realized where his was. Cool, green grass brushed his bare, firm stomach and he could feel weight on his back. He crossed his arms and rested his head on them, his brown eyes staring at the pretty boy.   
  
His keen eyes could see the outline of Sea Master against the trunk of a nearby weeping willow, its long, grassy branches swaying gently with the wind.   
  
Lu Xun didn't move from his position, head on Gan Ning's back as one would do to a pillow. "You're awake."   
  
Gan Ning scoffed. "Yeah, I guess so," he drawled, scratching his spiky hair with a drowsy finger. "Woulda slept longer too if I hadn't felt something on my back."   
  
Lu Xun grinned, turning onto his side to face his friend. "You looked so comfortable that I couldn't resist. And it seemed as if I was right, wasn't I? For that was a nice nap..."   
  
The pirate pretended to be annoyed, but couldn't hide his usual, teasing smile. His close friend stretched before pushing himself up into a sitting position. His old Wu outfit was slightly crinkled from the small rest, and Gan Ning knew that he wasn't much better off.   
  
Gan Ning flipped up, landing on his feet and brushing the grass off of his pants. Lu Xun looked up, amused, at him. "You seem strangely refreshed."   
  
The pyro received a wink.   
  
Instead of his usual grin back, the former Wu strategist sighed. "I wanted to talk to you."   
  
"Yeah?" asked Gan Ning carelessly, turning to grab his Sea Master. "Doesn't happen to have anything about dueling, does it? Then sure, I'll fight with you!"   
  
He whipped around, his sword held in his hands. Lu Xun raised an eyebrow, his golden eyes joyful. Then he shook his head, becoming more serious. "I'm just... so unsure..."   
  
Gan Ning blinked, and then sighed, sinking back to the ground. His close friend usually had times like these, in where he just needed someone to talk too, and it was usually Gan Ning who ended up comforting him. "'Bout what?"   
  
He fingered his hat, tracing the gold lining absentmindedly. His eyes were once again towards the sky. "After Wu's defeat..." he cleared his throat, trying to rid the memory. "I just... I'm lost, Gan Ning. I have no idea about what to do. I've talked to Sun Ce, that maybe we could start over but..."   
  
He turned his gaze onto his friend. "Do you think we should continue fighting with Shu? Does this feel right to you?"   
  
Gan Ning raised both eyebrows. "You think too much. Things are so complicated for you. Can't you just accept it?"   
  
Lu Xun frowned. He reached out pale, long fingers towards a willow branch. "I guess you're right... We're with Shu now..." But his voice was still slightly leaden.   
  
Gan Ning grinned, hoisting his sword over his shoulders. The muscles in his bare, tattooed arms flexed. "Now, how about a few nice practices?"   
  
His companion sighed, grinning, and also got up.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Jiang Wei paced through the city, not paying the least amount of attention to where he was going. He idly brushed his hair out of his eyes, waving at a passerby.   
  
He remembered the first few weeks that he had been here. Everyone had avoided him, calling him stupid, troublesome, behind his back. Zhuge Liang had often been with him, showing his the sites, introducing him to some people...   
  
His mind flicked back to that day at Tian Shui. He could still remember it as if it was yesterday...   
  
_The wind howled roughly, like ravaging, wild wolves. Bare branches whipped, clawing at him, and all the time as if screaming, "You've failed... You've failed..."   
  
His two sub-officers lay dead at his feet. Their faces were clotted with blood, the once moving hands motionless. His eyes slowly filled with angry tears. Outrage burst from within him. He didn't care anymore... his mind was crazy, uncontrollable...   
  
Sima Yi's words during his visit the previous day swirled in his mind. "You worthless scum! You're cowardice will surely kill you one day, and don't expect me to be there!"   
  
The young officer gritted his teeth, his hands clenched.   
  
Just watch me Sima Yi... I'll kill them all...   
  
Leaving the dead bodies, his horse whinnied, a magnificent, trumpeting around the clearing. Sweat pouring, muscles flexing, his steed flew down the rocky hill, towards the worn, wooden bridge.   
  
His hands became dry as he saw two officers on the other side. His eyes were immediately attached onto the flash of a sharp, bloodstained blade - a spear...   
  
Zhuge Liang urged his horse calmly forward as Jiang Wei approached. His voice carried passion, and without a single hint of fear.   
  
Jiang Wei secretly admired this bravery.   
  
"My son..." Zhuge Liang murmured. "Join us, will you? Unless you wish for a pitiless death."   
  
The genius tensed at these words. His horse reared. "Don't you dare look down on me!" Jiang Wei yelled.   
  
The fierce man behind the Prime Minister shifted on his white steed, his eyes dark, but Zhuge Liang held up a hand, and the movement ceased.   
  
"What do you fight for?" It was the same, soft voice. "Wei already regards you as a traitor."   
  
"I didn't do anything! It wasn't me..." Jiang Wei hissed, his hands tightening on Blink.   
  
"I'm sure..." Zhuge Liang smiled. "Of course it wasn't you. Never underestimate the power of Shu."   
  
Before he knew what had happened, Jiang Wei had pushed his horse forward, his spear ready for the kill.   
  
There was a clash of weaponry, and Jiang Wei felt his arm go numb. The man with the white horse had galloped out in front of his Prime Minister with incredible speed. His strength was powerful as well, and Jiang Wei felt a faint twinge of fear.   
  
And yet he continued slashing wildly. All the anger that he had felt towards himself yesterday... after his lover's visit... he seemed to vent out towards the Tiger General. His dead sub-officers haunted him... "Kill... kill..."   
  
Blink flew out of his hand and dug into the ground a few feet away.   
  
And then he saw the eyes... Two, twin, glowing green orbs, shining out of the darkness. A fiery passion was hidden in the depths, currently covered by a silent rage.   
  
Jiang Wei was rooted to the spot, unable to move. What was this power that held him here?   
  
"Come..." Zhuge Liang murmured once again. "Come with us..."   
  
_Jiang Wei shook his head. What had that been about?   
  
His feet had carried him towards the dark alleyways, where he didn't usually prowl. Shadows crept past him, like silent ghosts.   
  
Missing the comfort of Blink, Jiang Wei hesitated. Something flashed across him, and he breathed in sharply. What had that been? A mere shadow...? Or... something else...?   
  
He was getting nervous. _Just leave... You're imagining things..._   
  
Turning around, he had walked a few paces until he definitely saw a figure in front of him.   
  
No... it was more that one...   
  
At least a dozen men stood blocking his path, armed and covered in black material. He swallowed.   
  
Damn.   
  
Turning around, he realized that he was surrounded. The dangerous men were behind him too.   
  
And then they parted, allowing another man to walk through. Long, dark hair flowed around his shoulders. The moon glinted off a shining shoulder piece. Purple pants hugged his hips.   
  
Zhang He.   
  
The Wei general stared at his previous ally before speaking, his voice cold. "We would prefer it if you didn't struggle."   
  
Jiang Wei swallowed. Zhao Yun immediately came to mind. The strategist grinned. "What else am I supposed to do then? Let you take me?"   
  
Zhang He sighed. "If that is your answer..." He stared at Jiang Wei out of a dark, graceful eye before he swung up his hand. Instantly, the men surrounding him charged forward.   
  
Ducking under a sword, Jiang Wei shot his fist up. His opponent staggered off, clutching his ribs. Another took his place, scythe flying.   
  
Flipping over him, the strategist landed a few feet away. Clenching both fists, he was about to lunge when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, ten razor sharp claws aiming for his heart.   
**********   
  
A/N: *snicker* Yes, I'll just leave it like that. And, after many pleads, I _might_ have some Gan Ning x Lu Xun. But their relationship will be developing SLOWLY! Anyhoo, R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	8. Fight

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Eight: Fight**  
  
Zhao Yun yawned, struggling to keep his eyes open, as Zhuge Liang gave off his latest strategy speech.   
  
It wasn't that boring, really, but he desperately needed sleep, and this fact wasn't helped by Zhuge Liang's calm and completely even voice.   
  
Sun Ce sat near him, his head nodding and eyes closed, before finally drooping onto Da Qiao's shoulder. Lady Ce sighed, her pretty face in slight disappointment, but gave her husband his sleep.   
  
Yue Ying, Pang Tong, Lu Xun and Zhou Yu were up front, behind Zhuge Liang and whispering quiet statements to each other, eyes fixed on the Prime Minister. Zhao Yun focused on the strategists, narrowing his eyes. Jiang Wei was not among them.   
  
It wasn't like the young genius to skip an important war lecture.   
  
Zhuge Liang also seemed to know this, for his face was in a small frown. What an obnoxious pupil!   
  
Jiang Wei wasn't the only one missing though. Once again, the great horse Lord was not in sight. Gan Ning was probably swaggering out in the city, drinking with numerous women and showing off his swordsmanship. Huang Gai was also absent.   
  
Liu Bei turned to look at the Tiger General, and Zhao Yun immediately sat up, faking attention. The Shu leader raised an amused eyebrow before twisting back to the speech. Zhang Fei hiccuped, clutching his drink, face redder than ever.   
  
Shaking his head slightly, Zhao Yun stretched, and suddenly bolted upright, green eyes intent on the window. The moon had crept out long ago, its dark, eerie rays penetrating the now quiet room.   
  
Zhuge Liang stopped abruptly, his fan frozen, as he examined the officer closely with his slender, hazel orbs.   
  
Zhao Yun ignored the many eyes on him and he stood up slowly. His gaze never left its target.   
  
It was as if something had lodged itself within his skin, something small and sharp. The sudden jolt of it slowly faded, replacing itself with something else.   
  
His eyes widened, and he turned and left the silent room. Pang Tong looked curiously at him before shifting, allowing the taller man to step over the threshold.   
  
Zhao Yun barely acknowledged his presence. All he knew was that something was going on... something bad...   
  
He had no idea at how he knew this, and wasn't even completely sure. However, he rushed quickly to his room, retrieved his spear, and ran out.   
  
Jiang Wei was in trouble.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
He threw himself forward, oddly off balance, and Zhang He flew over him, his deadly Phoenix Talons closely missing their mark.   
  
Jiang Wei gasped as he felt the blades slice into his back. His mahogany eyes widened in shock and pain, and he rolled over. His light green shirt was dyed in bright crimson, which slowly flowed onto the ground as well. Slowly, he staggered up.   
  
The men had stopped attacking, motionless as they surrounded Zhang He and Jiang Wei. Breathing in sharply, Jiang Wei's eyes darted back and forth. He was trapped. There was no way to run. He glared at the silent, black wall of men.   
  
Zhang He looked at him, his eyes gleaming like daggers. Slowly, he walked forward, each light step nearly deafening in Jiang Wei's ears.   
  
The Phoenix Talons were dripping blood, the once shining blades now scarlet. Pale, slim lips curved into a dangerous smile as the graceful general approached.   
  
Ebony eyes stared into mahogany. "What a pity..." Zhang He whispered, "... that such beauty must go to waste..."   
  
Jiang Wei snarled slightly, breath coming in painful gasps. "B-bastard..."   
  
"Oh...?" A cruel smirk. "Believe me, I wouldn't even bother with you if it hadn't been for Sima Yi..." He took a few more steps forward. "Actually... if Sima Yi had fancied me instead of you, I believe we might have made decent friends."   
  
"So that's it?" Jiang Wei snapped, coughing slightly. "You're jealous."   
  
Zhang He fixed him in a long stare. His voice was venomous as he finally spoke. "So what if I am?"   
  
"You love him then," the genius stated simply. "Well then, what's stopping you?"   
  
Silence greeted his words. The Wei officer glared at him, furious.   
  
Slowly, he raised his bloodstained Talons.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Gan Ning grinned impishly, waving off the many girls surrounding them. The night was getting old, and he should be heading back.   
  
"Later... ladies..." he muttered, staggering off. Waving casually over his shoulder, he groaned as he grabbed his Sea Master, limping off balance.   
  
A dull flush was rising in his cheeks, probably the result of his many drinks. He smirked, eyes unfocused.   
  
"Man Gan Ning..." He tripped over his left foot. "You've really wasted yourself this time..."   
  
Staring at the moon, he could guess that it was around midnight. Yep... he had missed Zhuge Liang's speech.   
  
"A guy's only got one life to live," he reassured himself.   
  
The path was getting dark, and he suddenly stopped. Straining his ears, the pirate stood motionless before rushing forward, swaying slightly. His vision turned double momentarily, and he rubbed his eyes furiously.   
  
Now was not the time to pass out.   
  
He had heard weapon clashes.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The cold blades dug into his arm, and Jiang Wei was sent flying. His back hitting the wall, he gasped in pain, and slowly slid to the ground. Coughing, blood splattered onto the dirt.   
  
"Now. There's no need for this torture. Let us take you back." Zhang He straightened from his crouch, and crossed his arms, ignoring Jiang Wei's previous comment. "Sima Yi's been waiting for a long time." The smooth voice was slightly weak, choked with hidden tears.   
  
Jiang Wei didn't move. He closed his eyes, staring at the darkness of his eyelids. "Zilong..." he whispered quietly. The blood from his arm didn't seem to affect him at all. He had been through pain worse than this.   
  
Wordlessly, he stood up, face covered in shadow. Zhang He sighed, and hissed, "As you wish..."   
  
He flipped forward, his dark hair whipping the sky, and Jiang Wei was ready for him. As the Wei general neared, the strategist suddenly rolled out of sight, and Zhang He landed gently, lowering his weapons.   
  
"Hiding now, are we?" He smirked, and suddenly heard something behind him. Spinning around, his eyes widened as he felt a fist connect with his stomach.   
  
Jiang Wei grinned. "Don't think you've won yet."   
  
He received an angry hiss in reply. Zhang He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly froze as he saw a form over Jiang Wei's shoulder.   
  
"Oi," Gan Ning drawled, his eyes strangely fierce and yet still slightly unfocused. Sea Master was once again placed across his shoulders. "What have we here?"   
  


*~*~*

  
  
His horse snorted underneath him, the powerful hooves thundering against the hard earth. His rider urged him faster, and the horse willingly obliged, its thick white mane billowing.   
  
Zhao Yun's eyes flicked through the streets, his spear held high. The passing people quickly shuffled out of the way.   
  
Where... which way...?   
  
"Damn it, Jiang Wei..." he mumbled, rubbing his steed's neck reassuringly. His horse nickered softly. "Where are you?"   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The pirate grinned crookedly, hiding his concern. Jiang Wei spun around, clutching his bleeding arm, his eyes widening. "Gan Ning?"   
  
"Yep!" Swinging his sword in front of him, Gan Ning smiled. "Ready to have some fun as well."   
  
With a roar, he dashed forward. Inches away, Zhang He suddenly snapped his long, pale fingers, and his immobile troops sprung into action.   
  
Gan Ning paused, confused, as glinting blades surrounded him. "Okay... this wasn't what I had in mind..."   
  
Jiang Wei quickly started towards his friend, but Zhang He cut him off. "Your opponent is me."   
  
"Gan Ning!" the strategist yelled, backing up slowly as the Talons neared him. "Get out of here!"   
  
"You!" Gan Ning snapped back, slashing through an opponent. "Look at ya, all covered in blood." He smiled. "What the hell did you get into this time?"   
  
"This is a very touching conversation, but I'm running out of patience." The Wei general cocked his head, the smooth hair falling from his shoulders, as if examining the distance between them.   
  
Jiang Wei swallowed, his hands white and sweaty. "Zhang H-"   
  
He didn't get to finish his sentence as Zhang He sprang forward, his speed quiet and deadly. His hand immediately went to his spear-less sash. He was rooted to the spot, too stunned to move.   
  
"Oi! You! Move your ass, boy!" The clashes and yells of pain around him drowned the pirate's words as he sliced easily through his rivals.   
  
Closing his eyes, Jiang Wei forced himself to breathe.   
  
_Zhao Yun... why aren't you here...?_   
  
His next thoughts disappeared as he felt the cold bite of ten sharp blades. Pain consumed him, and darkness surrounded him.   
  
Slowly, ever so slowly, he fell.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
He squinted, and suddenly gasped. Jumping off his horse, Zhao Yun quickly approached the injured silhouette.   
  
The man looked up wearily, his eyes hidden underneath the spiky hair. A sword was being dragged slowly behind him, and a bleeding gash was in his side.   
  
As he saw the Tiger General approach him, the pirate grinned. "Hey..." he muttered, before falling onto his knees.   
  
"Gan Ning? What...?" Zhao Yun crouched down, looking intently at his friend. Noticing the blood still seeping, the Little Dragon's eyes widened.   
  
But the pirate shook his head. "Don't bother. They took him..."   
  
Zhao Yun let out a low whistle. "Who...?" But he had a bad feeling in his gut.   
  
"Him! The little strategist! Jiang Wei!"   
  
The Little Dragon froze. "They... What? No... It's not possible..."   
  
Gan Ning wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand. "Back there..." he pointed behind him. "I tried... but..."   
  
The general stood up, racing towards the dark alleyway. His green eyes were hooded as he saw the splotches of blood... the dead bodies of the Wei troops...   
  
"No..."   
  
Jiang Wei was gone.   
**********   
  
A/N: So evil, yes I am... I can't really think of anything to say right now... Oh yes! For those of you who just read but don't review, PLEASE DO! Opinions are nice! Anyhoo, R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	9. Meeting the Past

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Nine: Meeting the Past**  
  
The officer's eyes narrowed, glinting out of the shadows of his bronze battle helmet. Something wasn't right. He was sure of it.   
  
It was late, at least after midnight. The moon drifted in and out of the clouds, as if unsure whether or not it wanted to be covered.   
  
It was quiet.   
  
Too quiet.   
  
Slowly and silently, he slowly drew his spear out in front of him, his mind calm and hands sure. A flash of light illuminated the strangely arched blade, the small tuff of blue, and the long, slender green handle.   
  
His horse snorted underneath him, tossing its grand head. The man merely placed a soothing hand on its neck, and the horse was still.   
  
Such well trust between horse and rider was hard to find. As if they could read minds.   
  
Silently, he nudged the stallion forward, moving as one. The horse's keen ears flicked, and it turned its head towards the right, over a roof. The blue eyes looked quizzical, and Ma Chao nudged it forward.   
  
Like a shadow from darkest dreams, the battle horse leapt up, landing gently on the roof. Such was the grace and elegance that barely any sound was heard. Four hooves scraped the shingles quietly, but after that, all was still.   
  
Ma Chao scanned the ground below him. Dark figures could be seen, he was sure of it. It seemed to be a small party, of only one or two members. A proud man was at the front, his steps light and quiet. The burden on his back didn't seem to bother him.   
  
Dark eyes squinted. It looked like...   
  
No. It couldn't be.   
  
However, as the man jumped smoothly towards a patch of shadow, he was suddenly outlined by moonlight for a quick second.   
  
It had been sudden, but Ma Chao knew.   
  
That figure was Zhang He.   
  
And on his back, the small form of Jiang Wei could be seen.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhao Yun was exhausted. His horse seemed to feel the same, but continued it's proud pace, the white neck arched grandly.   
  
Brushing dark hair out of his eyes, the Tiger General glanced at the sky. The sun was just rising, and a ring of light could be seen from the distant hills. Opposite of it, the moon hid itself once again, waiting patiently for another night.   
  
His head slowly started to nod, and he snapped upright. No... he should continue searching. He _had_ to continue searching.   
  
Hoofbeats suddenly sounded from behind him, and he spun around, Fierce Dragon clutched in his hand. The fierce glow in his eyes faded as he spotted Zhuge Liang, accompanied by his wife, Yue Ying.   
  
"Prime Minister," Zhao Yun mumbled, nodding his respect. Instead of the usual smile in return, Zhuge Liang cast a worried eye over the young officer.   
  
"I've been informed that you've been searching all night." Zhuge Liang carelessly waved his fan. "Take a rest."   
  
Zhao Yun shook his head, about to turn his stallion around. With a whirl of colors, Yue Ying was suddenly in front of him, her eyes glinting. Her beautiful chestnut mare whinnied, shaking her long, bay colored mane.   
  
"Ma Chao has come back with news about Jiang Wei's disappearance." Her voice was its usual calm, the smooth tones washing over him. Indeed, if some had merely listened to her speak, they could have mistaken her to be beautiful as well. "If you wish to hear him out, come back with us."   
  
Zhao Yun hesitated, his mouth partially open as if to reply, before turning around obediently and heading back to Cheng Du.   
  
Zhuge Liang sent a gracious look to his wife, who cocked her head and smiled.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The man slowly opened his eyes. The surroundings were faintly blurry, and he was aware of a faint throbbing in his head. Slowly, he pushed himself up and winced, rubbing his ribs.   
  
The covers of the silk sheet fell off of him, revealing a bandaged chest. He blinked, raising an eyebrow under the cinnamon brown spiky hair, as he remembered what happened.   
  
He suddenly felt a heavy blow whack him upside the head. Blinking stars out of his eyes, the pirate groaned, before turned around sharply, ready to blow and yell.   
  
"YOU LITTLE - Lu Xun?" His eyes widened owlishly. "Thanks a lot."   
  
"You deserved it," Lu Xun mumbled in a small voice, his golden eyes downcast. He was sitting on the foot of Gan Ning's bed, gazing mindlessly out the window. His hat was no where in sight, and Gan Ning had to admit that the strategist did look a bit strange without it.   
  
_But he's sorta cute that way..._   
  
Gan Ning smirked, before sighing. He closed his eyes, leaning back. "What's up with you this time?"   
  
The little strategist slowly turned his eyes onto his friend. The pirate was slightly taken back to see glistening, unshed tears in the golden orbs. "How can you be so STUPID!?" Lu Xun yelled, raising his hand to slap Gan Ning again.   
  
Shutting his eyes tightly and waiting for the blow, the pirate blinked as the seconds passed. Looking up, Lu Xun's hand was inches away from his face, and the young boy himself was clutching the sheet with his other shaking hand. His head bowed, small droplets of water kept steadily hitting the bedspread.   
  
"Hey..." Gan Ning murmured, softening slightly. "You okay?" He tentatively reached out, lifting Lu Xun's face with a finger. The young boy glared back at him, tears streaming down his face. "When will you stop worrying me like that?" he whispered, every word biting into the pirate like ice.   
  
The two remained motionless before Gan Ning grinned. "Ah... I see." He playfully fingered Lu Xun's soft hair.   
  
"Shut up," the other muttered, forcing himself not to blush and wiping the tears roughly from his face.   
  
He was shocked when he felt himself being pulled forwards, and tumbled into Gan Ning's arms. The pirate held him close, his chin lightly on top of Lu Xun's head. "Sorry..."   
  
Gan Ning, apologizing? This was so abnormal... Lu Xun mentally slapped himself. _This is a dream, I'm sure of it..._   
  
Minutes passed, and he slowly relaxed. _I could get used to this..._ The strategist smiled. "If you move anymore, Da Qiao's gonna freak. And she's not planning to re-dress your wounds again..."   
  
"You just have to ruin this, don'cha?" Gan Ning growled, smirking as he released Lu Xun.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
"You're sure of this?" Zhao Yun questioned, eyes shocked.   
  
"Yes," Ma Chao mumbled, once again glaring at his rival. "Do you always have to ask me twice? Or are you just slow on the uptake?"   
  
Zhao Yun clenched his fists, but Yue Ying raised her hands. "Please! Please! Let's not get off the subject here!"   
  
The Little Dragon snarled slightly, but kept his mouth closed in a thin line. Ma Chao, slightly satisfied, continued his story.   
  
"So Jiang Wei has been taken back into Wei..." Zhuge Liang murmured a few minutes later, nodding slightly. "And I believe I know the reason why..."   
  
Zhao Yun perked up. "What?"   
  
The Prime Minister smiled grimly, his eyes flashing cleverly. "Nothing. Ignore me..."   
  
But Zhao Yun continued to stare curiously at him. Zhuge Liang shook his head, and Zhao Yun was sure that he had just said, "Some people..."   
  
Shaking his head, Zhao Yun turned his head intently to Liu Bei, who had remained quiet since the beginning of the discussion. "We have to go and get him back!"   
  
"Yes, yes..." The lord stated, nodding. "But the question is how we can manage to get him back, and safely as well."   
  
The Little Dragon had no reply to this.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
It was so dark... cold... His world seemed to have become swallowed up.   
  
Where was he?   
  
Hell, perhaps?   
  
No... couldn't be...   
  
He was running, running, but the blackness had no end.   
  
_There... there..._   
  
There was something up ahead.   
  
His mahogany eyes adjusted to the dark, and he crept forward. He gasped, and was hit by sudden recognition.   
  
There was a man in front of him, smiling warmly. Dark bangs crept near his bright green eyes, and pulled back into a long ponytail. A band was placed on his forehead, and he cast of a feeling of...   
  
Home.   
  
"Jiang Wei..." he whispered, reaching out a hand It brushed right through his cheek. "Just wait. I'm coming..."   
  
His eyes snapped open, and he sprung up, breath coming in heavy gasps. Pain suddenly swallowed him, and he doubled over in agony.   
  
"Where... am I...?" he whispered, his eyes alight with discomfort. Squinting, he realized with a jolt that he was no longer in Shu. The walls were covered in blue, not green. A candle flickered weakly in the corner. Scrolls littered the ground, scattered with brushes and ink.   
  
There was another presence in this room. He could feel it. Where...? Where...? It seemed so familiar...   
  
"You are in Wei." The voice, so calm and yet cold, rang throughout the room. Jiang Wei jumped, and then sat up as straight as he could. "W-who...?"   
  
And he felt his breath catch in his throat. The robed man smirked in front of him, his dark eyes flashing. "Welcome back, Jiang Wei."   
  
"S-Sima Yi...?"   
**********   
  
A/N: *sigh* well, I can't really think of anything to mention right now, so just continue with the usuals! Please R&R! Even if your support isn't exactly... positive... *COUGH* ^^;; and for those of you who are loyal, thank you! ^^   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	10. Overheard

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Ten: Overheard**  
  
He couldn't believe his eyes. Was he dreaming? And yet the man before him seemed quite solid.   
  
"How...?" his voice came out as mere whisper, his eyes still wide with shock.   
  
Sima Yi smirked, his dark, narrow eyes glinting. "Zhang He has been nice enough to give you a lift. Though there were a few more injuries then I would have expected..." His gaze fell upon Jiang Wei's wounds, and slowly moved up to his face.   
  
Moments passed, and Jiang Wei squirmed slightly, averting his eyes to his own hands.   
  
_Stop staring at me..._   
  
Sima Yi seemed to sense the tension. His grin widened as he approached the other man. "Why so stiff, Jiang Wei?" The Wei strategist stopped at the bed and settled himself smoothly on the sheets. He leaned forward, a hand caressing Jiang Wei's face. "You've seemed to have forgotte me for quite some time..."   
  
Jiang Wei swallowed. Sima Yi was so close... too close. He felt ripped in half. Zhao Yun... he was with Zhao Yun now! And yet, just weeks ago, he would have gladly gone to Sima Yi...   
  
When he received no response, Sima Yi frowned. He didn't like this new Jiang Wei. Roughly, he tilted up Jiang Wei's chin with a long, pale finger and met the other's lips with his own.   
  
It was nothing like the gentleness of Zhao Yun. Sima Yi was cold and forceful... why was he like this...? He tried to pull away, but Sima Yi was persistent. The cry of pain was muffled by the other's lips as Sima Yi's weight shifted onto his wounds.   
  
_Stop... Please stop!_   
  
He could suddenly breathe again. Panting, Jiang Wei desperately gasped in air.   
  
Sima Yi was walking away, towards the door. "I've some business," he hissed, before walking out. "Take the time to freshen up."   
  
The door closed with a snap.   
  
The little strategist sighed, before struggling to get up. Out of the bed, he took a few wobbly steps to the closed window. His reflection stared back at him from the glass.   
  
He looked awful. His face was pale, the eyes slightly bigger then usual, barely visible underneath his hair. His lips were bruised and cuts littered his neck and arms.   
  
Abruptly, he turned away from his reflection and slowly crawled back to bed.   
  
_Zhao Yun..._   
  


*~*~*

  
  
The Little Dragon turned around sharply, examining his surroundings. It was as if someone had just called his name...   
  
Shaking his head, he turned back to his white stallion. The grand war-horse nickered softly and blew on Zhao Yun's hair. Smiling gently, the officer continued tying the few sacks of food and tools onto the saddle.   
  
Liu Bei's gray Hex Mark trotted slowly to Zhao Yun's side. The Shu Lord rode on its back, along with several sacks of possessions. His sword was clipped to his side, ready for battle. "We'll be leaving in an hour," he stated, before nudging his horse forwards. Zhao Yun nodded.   
  
A few minutes later, he mounted, spear in hand. The white horse stood suddenly alert, ears perked and ready for the slightest command. Zhao Yun sighed, smiling, and rubbed the broad neck. "We're not fighting yet, bud." His horse snorted, before heading towards the other officers.   
  
Guan Yu suddenly appeared besides him. Red Hare whinnied, and Zhao Yun's stallion nickered in return, shaking the silky mane.   
  
"Are you ready?" Guan Yu asked, his voice deep and low.   
  
"I believe I am," Zhao Yun uttered, adjusting his green band.   
  
Guan Yu examined the younger man for a few moments before he smiled grimly. "May we all fair well in this battle."   
  
"My dear officers!" Liu Bei shouted, Hex Mark rearing up. The two Tiger Generals quickly stopped their conversation and listened intently.   
  
"Xu Chang isn't as far as some would think. If we ride hard, we may be able to reach it in a week or so."   
  
Murmurs of content reached this.   
  
"Of course, this act of war has been sudden, and I thank you all for your eagerness to help. Let us go, and may Wei feel our wrath!" Liu Bei roared, thrusting his sword into the air.   
  
The many officers yelled in triumph. Zhao Yun raised his own spear.   
  
Hex Mark landed evenly on its hooves, and Liu Bei nudged it forwards.   
  
Thunderous hooves galloped out to the open plains, Zhao Yun among them. His hands clenched tightly around his stallion's reins.   
  
They were going to Wei.   
  
_To Jiang Wei..._   
  


*~*~*

  
  
"_What_?!"   
  
Cao Cao looked taken back at Sima Yi's sudden outrage before clearing his throat. "As I said before, the Shu officers are no longer in Cheng Du. The numerous spies that have been sent out have all informed us of the same thing."   
  
Sima Yi breathed deeply, forcing his face to look calm. "Damn... I can't believe the plan failed..."   
  
The Wei ruler smiled grimly. "It's alright. I believe that they are headed here. It seems as if Jiang Wei has become important to them."   
  
The strategist nodded slowly. "Yes... we'll meet them head on. Either way, they will fall."   
  
Cao Cao nodded. "We should have someone guard Jiang Wei's chamber, for that is what Shu is coming for."   
  
"Very good, my Lord," Sima Yi murmured. "We should move him out, away from the city. A private house. Shu would never expect that."   
  
"Lady Zhen Ji might be up to it," the lord said quietly. "Her leg wounds from the previous battle haven't healed yet, and her strength would be reduced on the battle field. However, she could still guard Jiang Wei. Hopefully Shu will be crushed before they find her."   
  
Sima Yi smiled. "Yes. Back her up with some troops. I'll go tell the others."   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Jiang Wei lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. Pain continued to flash through his body, but he welcomed it. It made him forget everything else, even if it was for just a brief second.   
  
Time ticked on. Jiang Wei remained motionless. A deep loss was spreading in his gut, combined with pain and fear.   
  
_What's going to happen...?_   
  
He shut his eyes tightly, rolling over onto his side. His fists clenched and he curled up into a small ball, hiding underneath the covers.   
  
Tears sprang into his eyes, and he swallowed, biting his lip.   
  
_This isn't supposed to be happening..._   
  
His nails cut into his palm. The blood flowed silently onto the pillow, crimson on white. He stared at it quietly for a few minutes, watching the liquid seep into the cloth.   
  
"Zhao Yun..."   
  
He turned around, glaring at the darkness of his eyelids.   
  
"Why aren't you here...?"   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhang He narrowed his eyes. Did he just hear...?   
  
He pressed himself closer to the wall. Inside the room, he could hear the rustling of bed covers, silence, and then, in a faintest whisper, "Zhao Yun..."   
  
The lithe officer straightened up, playing with his long hair.   
  
_He's in love with someone else._   
  
He turned for Sima Yi's room, intent on telling. Jiang Wei would be disposed of, he was sure. Either that, or killed...   
  
And Sima Yi wouldn't have a lover anymore.   
  
Zhang He smiled, before shaking his head.   
  
_What the hell are you thinking of, Zhang He? Ever since Jiang Wei came, you've always been jealous. Damn, you're practically evil now..._   
  
The officer stopped in front of Sima Yi's door. He sighed, combing his hair with his fingers, before spinning around and continuing down the hallway.   
  
_Evil isn't always a bad thing..._   
  
No... he wouldn't tell Sima Yi now.   
  
There was a better way to break the news.   
  
And Jiang Wei could even end up killed...   
  
... by Zhao Yun himself...   
  
He smiled grimly, before stepping out of sight.   
**********   
  
A/N: Okay, so I had a really long delay. Sorry about that! Writers block! And I HAVE been writing other stories as well (including the one about Gan Ning and Lu Xun! *hint hint*), so that's my excuse. Anyways, please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	11. Xu Chang

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Chapter Eleven: Xu Chang**  
  
He lifted his tired emerald eyes towards the distant Xu Chang. It seemed so far away… they would never get there.   
  
Zhao Yun's eyes began to close. They had been riding for many days now, at Zhao Yun's urging, with little rest and short stops for food. Behind him, the other fierce and battle worn Shu officers stumbled along, nudging their horses and desperately fighting sleep.   
  
His own white stallion nickered underneath him, and Zhao Yun started. His horse shook his head angrily, and the Little Dragon readjusted his position on his steed's back. After several moments, his horse snorted with satisfaction and continued his steady pace, as if glad that he had woken his master for a few minutes. The stallion seemed to have put the task on himself, and would whinny every few minutes to get Zhao Yun's sleep-clouded attention.   
  
Shaking his dirty and matted black bangs out of his eyes, Zhao Yun started regretting his three nights without sleep. His horse was tired too, but held his head up proudly, sweat glistening on his once snowy colored hide.   
  
The Little Dragon's mind fell upon Jiang Wei. His Jiang Wei. Those Wei bastards. They would pay. Zhao Yun's fists clenched around his horse's reins and he nudged the beast forward with a spurt of speed.   
  
Behind him, his troops groaned. Liu Bei's Hex Mark was suddenly blocking the path, in front of Zhao Yun, who sighed and slowed his horse.   
  
"There's no need for such haste," Liu Bei stated, his voice low and commanding. "We'll get there in time. Besides, what good is an army in battle if they are weak and hungry?"   
  
Zhao Yun hung his head in defeat. His horse snorted, but the gray Hex Mark whinnied, rearing. The two animals stood glaring at each other, and then slowly, the white stallion averted its blue-eye gaze and turned away.   
  
Another rider came galloping up toward them. Sun Shang Xiang nudged her horse next to Liu Bei's, a smile on her face. She had to admit, this whole Wu and Shu thing was nice. She had never thought that she would have ever seen Liu Bei again. But here he was...   
  
Shaking her head and snapping out of her thoughts, she looked at Zhao Yun curiously, a smile teasing her lips. Cocking her head so that a few strands of short, light brown hair fell over her eyes, she blinked. "What's the rush?"   
  
Though he would have usually responded cheerfully, Zhao Yun shook his head.   
  
Liu Bei sighed. Placing a hand on Zhao Yun's shoulder, he raised an eyebrow, a patient look crossing his face. "Do think before acting next time, will you?"   
  
He received an obedient "Yes sir."   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhen Ji pursed her lips in anger, crossing her arms. She shifted her weight onto one leg on habit, her slim form blocking Cao Cao's way.   
  
"Excuse me?" Her voice was dangerous and low.   
  
Her lord ignored her protest, stepping around her. The lady flicked out her elegant flute and jutted it out across Cao Cao's stomach. The man sighed and then slowly turned towards her piercing gaze.   
  
"You expect me to stay here?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "What makes you think I'm not capable of fighting?"   
  
"The Shu army will be coming soon. You can't face them in your injured state." He waved his hand carelessly. "They're coming here for Jiang Wei, and I'm giving you an honorable place in this battle."   
  
"Honorable?" she hissed. "Honorable? More like pathetic. I won't just stand by and not do anything."   
  
"Unless you can magically heal yourself by the time they arrive, you'll be guarding the boy!" Cao Cao exclaimed, losing his temper.   
  
Zhen Ji looked up at her father-in-law, her eyes flashing. She opened her mouth to speak, but another voice cut in.   
  
"Lady Zhen Ji, you shouldn't disagree with your lord."   
  
She turned around, her flute shaking in her hand, and couldn't believe her eyes when she found herself looking up at Xiahou Dun.   
  
"What?" she whispered in a hurt voice, eyes clouded with shock. "You... of all people... wish for me to stay too?"   
  
He gave her a merciless look, more like a warning, and Zhen Ji immediately hid her surprise. She turned back towards Cao Cao, who was smiling in gratitude at his officer. Xiahou Dun nodded his head faintly before turning around and pacing off.   
  
The lady gave Cao Cao another accusing stare before hurrying off in the other direction, taking the longer way to the garden, where she knew Xiahou Dun would be.   
  
Ten minutes later, she stalked up behind the gruff officer, limping slightly, and raised her flute. Xiahou Dun turned around, grabbing the weapon before she could bring it down in a dangerous blow.   
  
"You..." she hissed. "Not you too."   
  
His eye glinted with a tiny fleck of apology, and the two of them sat down on a nearby bench. Turning to look at her, Xiahou Dun gently brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.   
  
"Understand that Cao Cao is trying to keep you away from harm."   
  
She looked up at him, incredulous, before her eyes softened and she sighed. "I guess you're right." She glared at her wounded leg, her fists clenching hopelessly at her sides. She could feel an eye gazing intently at the back of her head, and she turned around. "What?"   
  
He was silent for a moment, and then stood up. "Be careful. The strength of Shu is not one to be underestimated."   
  
She stood up too, placing a hand gently on his arm. "I will."   
  
She was about to say more when she heard Cao Pi's voice in the distance again. Shutting her eyes in annoyance and pain, she silently turned away. Behind her, Xiahou Dun stood, immobile, before fading into the shadows.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
A knock rapped at his door. Jiang Wei closed his eyes and ignored it. He knew who it would be.   
  
He headed back towards his bed, snuggling underneath the covers. Perhaps if he played sick...? But no. Even Xu Zhu wouldn't fall for that.   
  
Even so, he hid himself under the covers, rolling up into a small ball. The knock was repeated, a little more impatiently, and Jiang Wei mumbled, "Come'n."   
  
He was a bit surprised that Sima Yi hadn't just walked in after the first knock. He quickly shifted his position, back facing the down, and heard it open behind him. Shutting his mahogany eyes, Jiang Wei breathed deeply and then faked a cough, followed by a shuddering sigh.   
  
"Jiang Wei, I haven't the time for this."   
  
The strategist frowned. That wasn't Sima Yi's voice. He slowly sat up and turned around, stretching.   
  
Zhen Ji glared back at him, her dark eyes glittering with annoyance.   
  
"I've been given orders to escort you to a nearby village, where a house will be waiting for you." She carelessly flicked a strand of hair out of her face.   
  
Jiang Wei blinked, clueless. "What?"   
  
The lady sighed, walking to a pile of clothes on the floor. She lowered herself gracefully to her knees and began pulling the pile towards her, examining the outfits. Several didn't match her taste - she dumped them heartlessly aside. That done, she started folding the remaining clothes.   
  
Finally, she looked up at him again. "Well? Why are you just sitting there? We leave tonight. Some of my guards will be waiting for you at the back entrance."   
  
She got up, placed the folded clothes neatly at the foot of his bed, and turned to leave.   
  
"Wait!" Jiang Wei shouted, falling out of his bed in a tangle of bed sheets in his haste to stop her. "What's going on?"   
  
_Maybe, just maybe..._ His mind pictured a mental image of Zhao Yun. _Please..._   
  
Zhen Ji turned around again, her eyes examining his desperate face. After a while, she sighed and smiled. "Forgive me if this insults you, but Sima Yi thinks highly of you." She paused for a moment, fingering several black feathers on her dark lavender dress. "A bit too highly..." Her eyes flashed cunningly, and Jiang Wei knew that she had found out about his previous relationship with the Wei strategist.   
  
"He seems to be afraid of loosing you," Zhen Ji continued in her musical voice. She caught his gaze and smiled, but the joy didn't light her eyes. Then, in a quiet voice, she whispered, "Shu is coming for you, Jiang Wei."   
  
She couldn't help but having a twinge of jealously in her voice. In her mind, she could clearly see two faces - one of Cao Pi and the other of Xiahou Dun. Unlike Jiang Wei, she never got a choice.   
  
Quickly, she excused herself before Jiang Wei could ask her for any more questions.   
  


*~*~*

  
  
Zhao Yun felt dazed and lightheaded. He had no strength left in him. Several suns had passed, and he had always refused to sleep. Now, barely able to sit upright on his stallion, he started to, once again, regret his decisions.   
  
He felt his head begin to nod, and he gratefully shut his emerald eyes. His horse suddenly gave an impatient whinny and Zhao Yun started.   
  
"Sorry old boy," he whispered, patting his horse's snowy neck. "I'm not being fair to you, am I?"   
  
His horse snorted in reply.   
  
Gradually, the sun drifted up into the sky at its highest extent. The Shu army was now subdued, riding sleepily and wordlessly. Behind him, Zhao Yun could hear the tired grunts of Zhang Fei. Next to him, Yue Ying smiled encouragingly, but her bright eyes were also weary.   
  
It seemed that the only person who was really awake was Sun Ce, which was a bit strange since he had spent the first three days complaining. Now, next to his sworn brother, the two of them nudged their horses between the depressed soldiers, talking and laughing.   
  
There was a nicker, and Zhao Yun turned to his left. Lu Xun had rode up besides him, and his face broke out into a weary smile. His eyes still had their usual shine.   
  
Zhao Yun couldn't help but smile back, and continued his way a bit more happily. His horse seemed to feel his emotions, and had a bit more spring to its steps.   
  
He didn't know why he suddenly felt happy. Maybe just because of the people surrounding him, trying to act their normal selves. And the fact that Wu was with them.   
  
Behind him, Sun Ce gave a joyful holler and broke into song. Gan Ning's drawling voice could be heard bellowing, "Shuddap!" but there was a twinge of laughter in his voice. Yue Ying's face broke into a smile, and Zhuge Liang rode besides her, waving his fan without realizing it.   
  
The sun was low in the sky when Guan Yu suddenly came galloping out of nowhere, Red Hare pounding his powerful hooves on the ground. The officer looked a bit winded - his green battle garb was slightly tattered and Blue Moon Dragon was covered in blood.   
  
He stopped Red Hare in front of Liu Bei. The great horse gave a loud whinny and reared up, eyes white. The Tiger General skillfully patted its grand neck and the horse calmed down, though still slightly shaken up.   
  
A few seconds later, Ma Chao's golden gelding also came galloping into view. The horse lord's weapon was also out and flashing crimson.   
  
Zhao Yun remembered. The two of them had gone ahead to find an easier way to Xu Chang the previous morning. Shaking his head, he nudged his horse closer to Liu Bei, in hearing range.   
  
"Brother, dear Lady." Guan Yu nodded his head towards Liu Bei and Sun Shang Xiang. "We are close to Xu Chang." Ma Chao confirmed the information wordlessly, his fierce eyes glinting.   
  
Liu Bei looked concerned at his officers, but Guan Yu waved it aside. "We came across some Wei spies, that's all. But that's not the point. If we stop here for the night, we can still get to Xu Chang by the afternoon tomorrow. It'll give us a good and deserved rest."   
  
Liu Bei nodded, and turned to face his troops.   
  
Zhao Yun took in the information without comment. Part of him wanted to stay awake, but the other half told him that it was only common sense to sleep. He would need his strength tomorrow if they were to arrive at Xu Chang.   
  
The Wei army was most likely waiting for him.   
  
As usually, before every battle, a wave of excitement and fear crossed over him, but this time, he didn't feel nervous. Instead, his whole body was numb.   
  
_Jiang Wei... I'm almost there..._   
  
That night, he fell into a dreamless sleep.   
**********   
  
A/N: Well, how was that? Once again, forgive if I had any spelling errors or stuff like that... it's kinda hard to spot out your own mistakes. But anyway, Shu is nearing Xu Chang. And I guess that also means that this story is most likely soon to be over, unless I'm in a different sort of mood. But never fear, there are still several chapters to go... so please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima 


	12. Shame

**Forbidden Dreams**  
By Natsue Arishima   
  
**Twelve: Shame**  
  
He woke up to the sounds of light, muffled footsteps. Struggling up into a sitting position, Jiang Wei rubbed his eyes and squinted out of the open window. The night was cool and breezeless, and judging by the position of the moon, the strategist could tell that it was still around midnight.   
  
Twisting around in his sheets, he jumped as he noticed a pair of glinting, violet eyes, shimmering with a dangerous aura near the edge of his bed. A hand was brought up to stifle his gasp of surprise.   
  
Sima Yi...   
  
The Wei strategist was staring at him with a mixture of lust and hatred. Jiang Wei shifted uncomfortably, a bad feeling sinking down to the pit of his stomach. Fear was coursing through his body, and he gave an involuntary shiver, wanting but not able to tear away from the intense gaze.   
  
Sima Yi's voice was coated with sugary venom. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" he hissed, his hand tightening over Jiang Wei's mouth. Mahogany eyes widened. _No... Please no..._   
  
"You leave Wei and come back with a new lover? I didn't think you'd do such a thing to me." A pale hand was brought up out of nowhere and Jiang Wei shut his eyes, his heart clenched and waiting for impact, surprise clouding his mind. Sima Yi knew... but... _Please... Not Zhao Yun..._ Fear of losing his general erased his own shock. If Sima Yi for that matter wanted to hurt him, then he'd let them. As long as Zhao Yun was kept out of this...   
  
He didn't feel any pain, or hear the contact of skin on skin. Instead, his head was forced upwards towards the pair of icy orbs. Sima Yi breathed, "You think I didn't know? I admit, it was a bit strange when you first came back, but I only thought that you were still a bit stunned with the previous events. However... I have my sources. Who is he?"   
  
Jiang Wei swallowed, biting his lip.   
  
"After this, though, he won't look at you again," Sima Yi hissed. "And what do you think he'll do once he meets you again, when he realizes what you've supposedly done? Do you think he'll crack? Commit suicide? Or... kill you instead?"   
  
Jiang Wei's breath caught in his throat. What was going on? Zhao Yun wouldn't... and besides, who said he'd did anything wrong anyway? And Sima Yi didn't know _who_ exactly, so... Zhao Yun would be safe.   
  
Right?   
  
_'I have my sources...'_   
  
A sudden thought flashed through his mind. He knew that it was a crazy idea, but the other officer didn't really favor him... Perhaps it was some kind of revenge?   
  
"Did Zhang He...?" he managed to gasp, not daring to meet those glittering eyes. If he had, he might have noticed the flicker of confusion.   
  
"Don't bring him into this," Sima Yi hissed, dark hair sliding smoothly over a bare shoulder. "He's far more loyal than you are."   
  
Without warning, Jiang Wei suddenly found himself pinned underneath the older man. "S-Sima Yi?" He was cut off by the other's mouth, and to his great irritation, he found that he couldn't move. _Please, stop... Why are you doing this...?_   
  
He refused to respond, refused to move, and Sima Yi pulled back. His eyes were still dark, and he looked more satisfied than infuriated. "Stubborn as you are, you can't do anything to stop me, can you?" He let his breath wash over Jiang Wei's neck, teasing him. "And what do you think that special Shu officer will do? Hmm?"   
  
The former Shu strategist tensed as he felt nimble fingers playing with his shirt. "You-" He was cut off by his own startled gasp as teeth bit sharply into his shoulder. Another one of those pale hands had drifted down to the top of his pants, and Jiang Wei could only give in as his body reacted to the manipulations.   
  
But though his body had given up, his mind still screamed, and there was one only face flickering before his eyes.   
  
It was a man, with thick, dark hair and dazzling emerald eyes.   
  


  
  
Zhao Yun sat up suddenly, his unbound hair swirling freely around his shoulders. Rubbing his eyes, the Tiger General groaned, leaning back into the rapidly cooling blankets and closing lids over two matching orbs, telling himself over and over again that sleep was a necessity right now.   
  
But... something was wrong. Very wrong. It was the same emotion he had felt on the night when Jiang Wei had disappeared. However, this time, it was combined with pain, frustration and shame.   
  
Something was wrong.   
  
His mind wouldn't let him drift off into blissful unconsciousness, so Zhao Yun gave up and staggered to his feet, pulling up his hair in the process. Amazingly enough, he was almost entirely awake. Stretching out several sore spots in his arms, the general frowned for a moment before heading towards two familiar voices.   
  
Gradually, the pale, flickering light of a fire washed over him and Zhao Yun followed the source, careful not to make any sounds to awake the surrounding, resting officers. Faint murmurs were growing louder now, and he slowly stepped around a clump of trees.   
  
Guan Yu and Huang Gai.   
  
They were sitting on opposite sides of the fire, both pairs of eyes reflecting the burning flame. Zhao Yun hesitated, just outside the ring of light. The two of them looked impressive; silent, bold silhouettes, acting so calm even at this hour of a soon to come war.   
  
The bombardier of Wu suddenly spoke up. "You feel them, don't you?" His rough voice did not waver, even though his eyes gave away his nervousness.   
  
The strongest Tiger General nodded, silent.   
  
"Wei is clever. I fear something's coming."   
  
Once again, a nod. Huang Gai sighed, his face suddenly becoming, if possible, more serious. "When you and Ma Chao took a scout of the surrounding area, what did you really see?"   
  
At first, Zhao Yun didn't think that Guan Yu was going to answer. He was proven wrong, however, as the general's deep and comforting voice twisted around the fire.   
  
"Wei scouts. They were planning an attack, just outside the gates of Xu Chang. I thought..." He trailed off before stroking his beard. "I thought if we somehow stalled our own army, Wei would be surprised and weaken their attack." His dark, bright eyes jumped up and locked onto the green orbs of Zhao Yun, who blinked and took a step backwards. Continuing to stare at him, Guan Yu continued, "I fear that plan was hopeless. Wei is near, I can sense it. With a strong force, too.   
  
"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life. It's not only that I want our fellow officer back safely, it's also that I feel it unjust of Wei for their previous actions. This bold and obtrusive behavior angers me - only my companions are allowed to act this way." The corners of the dark beard twitched.   
  
"But I'm ready. If Wei should come soon, tomorrow even, I'd cover Liu Bei's back with my head held high. Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than me, that can carry on protecting our lord. If I should die, I'll rest peacefully and with no regrets."   
  
Zhao Yun stared and Guan Yu gave the slightest of bows in his direction. _Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than be, that can carry on protecting our lord..._ Very slowly, still in a state of shock, Zhao Yun stepped into the ring of light.   
  
"General Guan Yu -"   
  
"For Jiang Wei," the older man whispered, smiling.   
  
Beside them, Huang Gai reached for some wine with the usual grumbles and curses. But his eyes were twinkling.   
  
Shu... they were not to be underestimated.   
  
"A strong speech, my friend. My only regret is to have not met you sooner..." The former Wu officer mused under his breath. There was no fear in his eyes - he had already planned out his final minutes of precious life. For his new friends, he'd gladly do it.   
  


  
  
He hated himself.   
  
His cheeks stained with un-stoppable tears, he continued scrubbing at his body until his skin was raw and pink. Even so, he still felt ashamed, dirty.   
  
Thoughts of the previous night kept on flashing before his eyes, and he cursed himself for being so weak. He could have stopped it... he should have stopped it... But he hadn't. He had been too damn pathetic, too damn dependent.   
  
Shutting his eyes, Jiang Wei let himself sink deeper into the water. Maybe, if he'd drowned... maybe then things would stop. But once again, he was afraid - afraid of losing his life, afraid to not be able to hear, see, touch, breathe. Love.   
  
But then again, death would be peaceful. And in death, he wouldn't have to meet Zhao Yun. In death, he wouldn't have to admit. He wouldn't have to feel.   
  
But why? Sima Yi had never been this cruel. So why start now? And... how could he have found out? Jiang Wei still had a slight suspicion about Zhang He, and it made since. Zhang He was constantly being ignored by a loved one.   
  
_Because of me..._   
  
Was he truly such a nuisance to everyone?   
  
The fact that he existed... Everyone was in pain because of him. Zhao Yun, Sima Yi, Zhang He. Everyone was messed up in someway, lost, confused, loathed, loved, hated.   
  
Why him?   
  
Why was he the one that inflicted so much pain on his friends?   
  
Was it some sort of stupid destiny?   
  
Well then, he'd deny destiny.   
  
Or at least try.   
  
Not giving himself time to breathe, Jiang Wei ducked his head underwater, forcing himself to remain glued to the bottom surface. He could feel his air rapidly leaving him, and he speeded up the process by opening his mouth and watching the bubbles float to the surface of the water.   
  
His vision became hazy and he shut his eyes. His lungs were protesting for air that he refused to give, and water was pressing in on him on all sides. So close...   
  
A flash of green. Warmth against his body.   
  
And he knew he couldn't do it.   
  
With a shuddering gasp, he lunged out of the water, gulping down large amounts of precious air. He was such a coward... Such a useless, hopeless coward.   
  
Not bothering to dry himself properly, Jiang Wei flung himself down onto the bed, which still had a lingering smell of sex. Wrinkling up his nose, he buried his face in his arms and shut his eyes.   
  
"Why are you still haunting me, Zhao Yun?" he whispered. "Why won't you let me die...?"   
  
The green eyes continued to stare down at him, and Jiang Wei dozed off into a fitful sleep.   
  


  
  
There was an explosion to his right and his white stallion shrieked in fear, rearing up onto its hind legs. In front of him, Red Hare quivered, eyes white, but remained still. There was a flash as Blue Moon Dragon was brought down, shortly followed by Fierce Dragon, and two limp Wei soldiers collapsed onto the ground.   
  
"Go!" Guan Yu urged, spinning his beautiful stallion around. Zhao Yun remained fixed to the spot. "No! I'm staying right here! I won't run, and you know it."   
  
_Jiang Wei..._   
  
Screams, blood, death. Sun Ce galloped past them, Da Qiao unmoving in his arms. Zhao Yun stared. Tears. The Little Conqueror was crying.   
  
Liu Bei rode up, a gash in his arm. "I'm sorry, but we've no hope here. Retreat." When he was met by two pairs of determined eyes, his face flashed with anger. "Retreat! That's an order. I won't lose two of my officers now!" He pointed with his sword westward. "I'll expect to see you."   
  
He was gone in seconds. Zhao Yun paused, debating. A sudden blast twisted him off of his horse and he rolled up quickly from the ground. His white stallion faded into the distance, galloping wildly in the direction that Liu Bei had gone.   
  
Someone jumped down next to him and Zhao Yun looked up at Guan Yu. "Take my horse," he demanded, shoving Red Hare's reins into his hands.   
  
The Little Dragon stood, shocked. There was a fire in Guan Yu's eyes, and Zhao Yun recalled their conversation last night.   
  
_"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life..."_   
  
"No..." Zhao Yun whispered, and then louder. "No! Red Hare will only obey the strongest, and that's not me."   
  
Roughly, he pushed the reins back into Guan Yu's hands, whose eyes flashed with anger. "I told you to take him!"   
  
Nearby, a large group of soldiers burst out of the trees, and Guan Yu took his chance at the other's sudden shock.   
  
Without warning, Zhao Yun found himself thrown against the red steed, his fingers tangled into the fiery mane. With a whinny at his master's command, Red Hare jumped into life, somehow swinging Zhao Yun onto his back.   
  
"Wait! What? Guan Yu, dammit!" Zhao Yun cursed, turning back towards his friend. He yanked the wild mane harshly but the horse ignored him. Slowly, Guan Yu faded into the mist.   
  


  
  
Panting heavily, the once proud Shu officer found that he could barely stand. Around him lay many lifeless bodies. Wearily, he shoved the blade of his weapon into the ground.   
  
There was a crunch to the left and he spun around, gasping for air, as more soldiers headed towards him. Too many... and he was running out of strength.   
  
Blood splattered into his beard as he swiped again. Losing his balance, he dropped onto his knees, his green battle outfit stained crimson. Footsteps surrounded him and he looked up.   
  
Countless numbers of soldiers, dressed in blue and purple. He was surrounded.   
  
His grip loosened on his blade.   
  
_Lord Liu Bei, Zhang Fei... I broke my promise. Forgive me, brothers._   
  
There was a shrill whinny and something hard whipped his eyes. He automatically reached up for it - leather. Reins.   
  
If that arrogant Zhao Yun had come back...   
  
But no... it was a black horse, with blazing eyes and a proud head. He could only hold on limply as the steed rammed through the opposing soldiers, stunning most of them.   
  
_Whose horse...?_   
  
He was out of the thick ring of soldiers. In front of him was an empty, blood soaked battlefield. He was still alive.   
  
Wearily, he twisted around in his seat. Eyes widened.   
  
A glaring Huang Gai nodded to him, standing alone in the midst of Wei soldiers. Slowly, he unearthed a bomb from within his pouch.   
  
"Don't-" Guan Yu stuttered, but his vision suddenly faltered.   
  
He missed the sight of the burning inferno. And in the middle of it all, a smiling Wu officer, content at last.

A/N: Forgive me for another really really really really long delay. I had a bit of an issue with a writer's block. Sorry! So sorry! I was seriously thinking of discontinuing this fic, but after several emails, I'm back on track. And besides, it'd be a pity to stop when I've already gotten this far. But anyway, another chapter finally posted up. This fic is coming to an end soon... okay, maybe not if I feel like dragging it out, but the ending is very soon. snifflies Please R&R!   
  
--Natsue Arishima


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